Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 453628 times)

Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1620 on: July 11, 2022, 02:32:31 PM »
We're scheduling an appointment with a lawyer to discuss a new Will. I hope he doesn't have any plumbing bills! :Thinking: :toothgrin:
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1621 on: August 19, 2022, 06:28:12 AM »
It is a common misconception that cats cannot be taught to do tricks, in contrast to dogs. We have four cats and all of them easily mastered the tricks shown here.
Jon

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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1622 on: August 31, 2022, 08:09:36 AM »
NPR Report:
Quote
A truck hit the center divider on I-80 ... Monday morning, slathering several lanes in quickly crushed tomatoes and forcing morning commuters to...








Wait for it...










...
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1623 on: August 31, 2022, 08:20:58 AM »
...
play ketchup!

Meanwhile;
Local police refuse to issue tickets to hundreds of sauced driver!
A truck crash dumped thousands of glass jars of Alfredo sauce!

In related news:                     
Italian ancestry judge accused of biased decisions.
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1624 on: September 15, 2022, 02:23:58 PM »
Will glass coffins become popular? Remains to be seen...
Jon

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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1625 on: December 13, 2022, 10:10:27 AM »

Not actually a joke but an incident that still makes me chuckle...


Neighbour asked me to lend him a ladder to get at a blocked gutter. I said I'd come round and stand at the bottom to steady it as it was in an awkward position. "No, I'll get the missus to do that..."


I helped him take it round to his house and just parked myself at the base. He climbed up and took the end plate off the guttering, landing me with the inevitable shower... yea, bad planning  .


He came down chuckling but stopped and went almost white when I said: "Bet you're glad I didn't let your missus stand there..."
Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1626 on: December 13, 2022, 12:31:44 PM »
If a tree falls in the forrest and no one sees it, will a Chihuahua living 500 miles away start barking?! :Thinking:

Our dog ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles!! :eek:

Took it to the Vet! No word, yet. :scram:
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1627 on: December 13, 2022, 01:13:28 PM »
My wife is giving me a wristwatch for Christmas. There's no present like the time.
Jon

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Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1628 on: January 16, 2023, 07:14:03 AM »
For those contemplating buying an electric vehicle, here are some statistics:

95% of electric cars are still on the road. The other 5% made it home.
Jon

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Offline Frances144

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1629 on: January 16, 2023, 10:59:30 AM »
I came here for a chuckle and you guys didn't fail!

Many thanks.

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1630 on: January 16, 2023, 01:09:11 PM »
And remember: 86.3% of statistics are made up.
Jon

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Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1631 on: January 24, 2023, 09:45:54 AM »
A woman goes to the kitchen and finds her husband crying his eyes out. Upon asking him what the matter was, he said "Today is our 20th anniversary. When we got married twenty years ago, you were pregnant and your father said that either I marry you or spend the next 20 years in jail. I would have gotten out today!"
Jon

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Offline Frances144

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1632 on: January 30, 2023, 12:03:31 PM »
LOL!  :toothgrin:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1633 on: February 04, 2023, 07:13:00 AM »
For those who want the REAL lowdown on British history, see Cunk On Britain The video is around 30 minutes and you should stay with it. I learned a lot from it, having previously thought that Camelot was a business that sold used camels.
Jon

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Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1634 on: February 21, 2023, 07:05:39 AM »
In the not too distant future, YouTube, Twitter & Facebook will merge to form one giant, idiotic, super time-wasting website called...

YouTwitFace
Jon

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