Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 433181 times)

Offline Gregg

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« Reply #30 on: March 28, 2007, 07:30:33 AM »
QUOTE(Highmac @ Mar 28 2007, 02:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I thought you'd like to know that there are a lot of changes that are going to be taking place across the board as far as the servers & personal computers go.


Or...

I thought you'd like to know that there's going to be a bit of a shake-up around here.
-Jerry Lee Lewis
Ya gotta applaud those bunnies for sacrificing their hearing just so some guy in Cupertino can have better TV reception.

Offline RHPConsult

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« Reply #31 on: March 28, 2007, 12:54:13 PM »
On occasion, it has been (gently) pointed out that I have posted herein items that are "old" news to some, perhaps many.

I don't know about this little number, but since we don't yet have an OT – Amazing! thread on TeeEss, here goes . . .


Let it run to completion . . . almost unbelievable.


PS: Wednesday eve . . .sorry gunug, I hadn't seen your earlier post.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2007, 11:11:05 PM by RHPConsult »

Offline Dick Miller

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« Reply #32 on: March 28, 2007, 01:20:25 PM »
Someone has way too much time on their hands. whew.gif
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Offline Johanbgoot

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« Reply #33 on: March 28, 2007, 02:13:46 PM »
I just finished this thread and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Here's one a friend sent me yesterday.

Now I know it's sorta a dumb blind joke but with a twist!

Johan



BLIND MAN IN A BIKER BAR

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.        

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting  there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very  deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke,  sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you are blind -- that you should  know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,  "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
Hmmmmm. I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure that what you heard is what I actually meant!

Offline kimmer

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« Reply #34 on: March 28, 2007, 09:13:34 PM »
RHP ... very Rube Goldberg and I'm having a déjà vu moment here. wink.gif

QUOTE
"No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times

ROFLOL!

Offline Gregg

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« Reply #35 on: March 29, 2007, 07:28:45 AM »
QUOTE(Dick Miller @ Mar 28 2007, 12:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Someone has way too much time on their hands. whew.gif

...or way too many hands on their time.

I thought it was going to go back and turn on the alarm clock in the first frame. Did I miss something having no sound?
Ya gotta applaud those bunnies for sacrificing their hearing just so some guy in Cupertino can have better TV reception.

Offline dolphin

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« Reply #36 on: March 29, 2007, 08:34:04 AM »
A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious, the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for"?

"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."

"Wow! Does that really work"?

"You bet it does."

"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."

"Well, okay."

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week"?

"You're the sixth," he said.
"If it aint broke; don't fixit"
Roy

Offline RHPConsult

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« Reply #37 on: March 29, 2007, 10:43:46 AM »
QUOTE
Did I miss something having no sound?
Yes.
But, get to work!   toothgrin.gif

Offline kimmer

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« Reply #38 on: March 29, 2007, 10:53:12 AM »
Fisherman and the mirror ... HAHAHA! I just sent that to Sneakers to share with his fishing pals.

Offline Gregg

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« Reply #39 on: March 29, 2007, 12:12:36 PM »
QUOTE(kimmer @ Mar 29 2007, 10:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Fisherman and the mirror ...


Rather; Manfisher and the mirror... toothgrin.gif

QUOTE(RHPConsult @ Mar 29 2007, 10:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yes.
But, get to work!   toothgrin.gif


Yore two hours behind me! Now go have lunch... wink.gif
Ya gotta applaud those bunnies for sacrificing their hearing just so some guy in Cupertino can have better TV reception.

Offline dolphin

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« Reply #40 on: March 29, 2007, 11:01:51 PM »
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot
of fishing when he was on the Ark?"  "No," replied Johnny. "How could
he, with just two worms?"
"If it aint broke; don't fixit"
Roy

Offline krissel

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« Reply #41 on: March 29, 2007, 11:27:13 PM »


A Techsurvivors founder

Offline jcarter

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« Reply #42 on: March 30, 2007, 07:33:28 AM »
Thats the one!   I couldnt remember where I had seen it, but it had to have been here.  Its been changed just a little.  Thanks for giving us the link.
There is another one wich is really fun, I will see if I can find it today, the link is on my old Mac I think.
Here tis.

http://www.atomfilms.com/film/animusic_pipedream.jsp
http://www.animusic.com
Jane

Offline RHPConsult

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« Reply #43 on: March 30, 2007, 03:49:39 PM »
NAME GAME GIVES PLEASURE TO THOSE WITH EAR FOR IRONY


DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed the columns you've printed about people whose names matched their professions, and wonder if you would be interested in an incident that happened to my sister. Her name is Dragony, and she works in a pharmacy located in a medical building. Her license plate reads DRAGONY. Well, someone went into the pharmacy and asked the girl at the counter, "Who is Dr. Agony?" I still laugh when I think about it. -- KATHI IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR KATHI: Funny! Your sister's license plate reminds me of one that belongs to my neighbor, who happens to be an anesthesiologist. Her license plate reads: EPIDURL.

I am still hearing from readers offering names -- and some of them are a hoot. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I was office manager for a printing company that did work for the American Tobacco Co. in North Carolina. The purchasing agent's assistant there was a woman by the name of Flicka Ashe. Can you believe it! -- DOLORES IN SPARTANBURG, S.C.

DEAR ABBY: I have sold real estate for 18 years, and no one ever forgets my name. It's ... BETH NEWHOUSE, MAYVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: My grandma fell and broke her hip last summer and had to have surgery. Her surgeon? Dr. Mark Cutright! -- KATHY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ABBY: Shame on you! How could you forget your fellow member of the Group for Advancement of Psychiatry -- Dr. John Looney? -- FRANCES ROTON BELL, DALLAS

DEAR ABBY: Here's an item that might qualify. It's from the Jan. 16 edition of our local newspaper: "Charles T. Sprinkle, 27, of Sandpoint was cited on a charge of urinating in public at 11:52 p.m. in the 200 block of Main Street." -- LARRY S. IN IDAHO

DEAR ABBY: Would you like more names that match? My optician was named Ralph Glance, my daughter's allergist was Dr. Eitches, and my children's dentist is Dr. Spitz. -- SUSAN K., HAYWARD, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in high school, there was a family with the last name "Braa." Guess what the mom's first name was? "Iona"! My initials are "B.S.," but this story is not.
-- B.S., FARIBAULT, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: When my sister and I were children, we'd play a game called "I Spy" during road trips from Georgia to Alabama. On one of them we spotted a septic tank installation and maintenance company named "Seth Poole and Sons." -- LARRY IN DOERUN, GA.

DEAR ABBY: I used to work with a young woman named Linda Snow. She met and married a wonderful man. When she did, she became Mrs. Snow-White! -- A FAN, SUN CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR ABBY: My salesman husband was dealing with a particularly difficult client who demanded to speak to the boss. The reply: "I'll be happy to transfer you to him. His name is Robin Hood; if he isn't in, you can speak with his secretary -- Marian!" True story, real people. -- JENNIFER IN HOUSTON

DEAR ABBY: This isn't occupation-related, but I thought you might get a kick out of it anyway. I went to school with twins Esther and Lester Chester and their big brother, Chester Chester Jr. And no, I'm not kidding. -- L. LEGGETT, MAGNOLIA, MISS.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069



Dear Abby by Abigail Van Buren 03/15/07
Copyright 2007 Universal Press Syndicate
« Last Edit: March 30, 2007, 03:51:09 PM by RHPConsult »

Offline jcarter

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« Reply #44 on: March 30, 2007, 04:24:28 PM »
I just read this in our local birth section of our newspaper, there was a little boy baby who they named Eric and his last name is Forskin.
Poor kid.  It is not spelled right, perhaps the kid will be very happy about that when he gets into school.
Jane nono.gif