Post by: sandyman on January 26, 2007, 01:06:17 PM
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon™ and market them world-wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.
Post by: sandbox on January 26, 2007, 01:49:14 PM
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
Post by: jcarter on January 26, 2007, 06:00:37 PM
Post by: DaveF on January 26, 2007, 11:40:04 PM
sandyman and sandbox,
Enjoyed the posts; very creative mind(s) at work.
Dave
Post by: krissel on January 27, 2007, 01:18:46 AM
APPLE: owns 5 out of every 100 cows, but they are easy to milk and also give cheese and yogurt in many flavors.
Post by: Epaminondas on January 27, 2007, 11:57:17 AM
(Along with the cow's genetic code).
And people start to tinker -
Soon there are over three hundred different Linux cows.
Some give regular milk, some give chocolate milk, some give 37 varieties of strawberry . . .
People argue that there are too many varieties of Linux cows - get mad at each other - and go off and create another different kind of cow.
Users complain that there are too many different types of milk to drink.
Microsoft gets richer.
Apple becomes a consumer entertainment company.
Life goes on . . .
_________________________________________________
http://distrowatch.com/
Post by: Gregg on January 27, 2007, 09:59:26 PM
QUOTE(DaveF @ Jan 26 2007, 11:40 PM) [snapback]117107[/snapback]
I have been waiting all night for Gregg to say That's a lot of bull about a lot of cows or something more imaginative. You let me down.
Sorry. See the Cyber Streess Survey for my excuse.
I checked my shoes, and I do believe I've stepped in this thread before.
Someone's just trying to milk it.
Post by: DaveF on January 28, 2007, 08:28:35 PM
QUOTE
I checked my shoes, and I do believe I've stepped in this thread before.
Someone's just trying to milk it.
Someone's just trying to milk it.
There's the wit I enjoy in your posts.
Dave
Post by: Gregg on January 29, 2007, 07:38:43 AM