QUOTE
if you try to drag it out of the 'house' library, they dont, they stay in there and just make a dupe where you drag them out.
This is normal behavior when moving an item from one volume to another. Are you sure you are actually moving these items within the same volume/disk?
Of course, the OS will simply not allow you to remove stuff that is vital to its stable operation (mostly). You may be able to over ride that safety feature but only at your own risk!
It might be best to learn a little more about these two basic directories and what they are for before adding/moving stuff in them. Better safe than sorry. 
QUOTE
how would you know which library to put stuff into?
First of all, you don't normally need to do anything to put stuff in the correct one. Any integrated app will do that kind of thing for you. What you are looking at is a collection of files/plug-ins that are not an integrated app/product. That's why you have to do this manually.
Second, as Paddy said, the Library folder in the "little house" section is the "Home" folder for any particular user. No one should see that user's stuff except that user and an Admin user. That Library will have files that belong to that user but not to any other user on your machine. That's why it's called the "user's Library."
The Library in the HD directory is full of stuff that can (usually) be used by any user of the machine. That's why it is called a "system-wide" Library. Normally, only an Admin qualified user can move or add stuff to that folder, manually.
It's fairly important to understand the uses and differences in these two "library" folders. It's also important to understand what your "Home" or user folder/directory is and how to use it. <Here is a short Apple Support document that should get you started.> After you read it, you can start a new thread about things you want more info about.
Some day you may install a program that asks if you want to make it (or parts of it) "available to all users" on the machine. If you choose to do that, stuff will be placed in the HD/Library after you enter the Admin password. If you choose not to install things that way, only you will be able to use the app.
QUOTE
everything Ive ever downloaded and installed has never ever gone thru this whacky situation.
That may well be but that doesn't mean it's "wacky." See my post just above your last one for a simple explanation about this kind of 'install.'
His instructions involve only two steps, both of which any user is capable of doing.
1. Do a "Get Info" on the file you want to edit/move/change permissions/etc. command-i does that on any selected file.
2. Change the permissions as he stated.
Note: If that section is greyed out, I'll bet there is a little "locked lock" icon at the bottom right part of trhe Get Info window. Click on that locked lock and you'll be asked to enter your Admin password. If it's correct, the Permissions area will become active for editing. If you're not logged in as an admin or you can't remember your Admin password, you'll simply not be able to complete step 2.
"There ain't no step 3!"