QUOTE
When I open/start iChat my wife's name appears where mine normally would be at the top of the Buddy list???
Uhmn...I don't think your own name should be in the Buddies List, even if you do like yourself a lot! Aren't those supposed to be other people? Your own name would be up at the top of the window, actually above the Buddies list, and I assume it has a green button beside it?