Post by: sandbox on September 20, 2003, 10:15:01 AM
Deep in the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in
the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the
delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a
lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am
doing!."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there", said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that
lantern
down.
I think there's another one coming."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
"Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the
doctor.
Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.
"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet
another one coming!" cried the doctor.
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,
"You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"
Post by: Kruser on September 20, 2003, 05:32:38 PM
Post by: Gregg on September 22, 2003, 07:48:22 AM
nurse comes in, Dad #1 has twins
"Wow! I work for the Twins!" (baseball team)
nurse comes back, Dad #2 has triplets
"What a coincidence, I work for 3M!"
third Dad gets up to leave
nurse: "Where are you going?"
Dad: "I'm gettin' outa here! I work for 7Up!"
Post by: Bernie on September 22, 2003, 05:09:32 PM
Post by: Xairbusdriver on September 23, 2003, 07:04:17 PM
A Baptist preacher decided he'd like to have a dog. Talked it over with his wife and they agreed it would be best if they had a Baptist dog. But he was soon discouraged when he searched and could not find anyone offering one.
Finally he found a kennel that assured him they had what he needed and he and his wife journeyed quite a way to see the dog.
Sure enough, it appeared to be a Baptist dog. First, the owner told the dog to go to the bookcase and fetch the Bible. Without hestiating, the dog brought back the Bible and placed it at his masters feet. Next, the dog was told to open the Bible to Psalm 53. With amazing dexterity, the dog gently pawed the pages and placed his paw on the opening verses of the chapter.
Even though the price was somewhat higher than he thought he should pay, the preacher took the dog back home. Anxious to show his deacons his new dog, he invited several of them over for coffee and a demonstration of the dogs skills. Duly impressed, one of the deacons asked if the dog could do any 'regular' dog tricks. "Well, I don't really know. I've been too busy training him to find various books of the Bible! But we'll see what he might be able to do."
Backing up a few paces, the preacher pointed at the dog and bellowed, "Heel!" Well, the dog cocked his head a little to one side, but then walked up to the preacher, stood on his rear legs, and placed one paw on the preachers head!
"Oh my!," exclaimed the preacher, "I'm afraid he must actually be Pentecostal!"
Author of above is unknown and certainly not me!
Post by: Highmac on September 24, 2003, 01:32:45 AM
The doctor asked Ethel if she had any idea what had happened and she explained about their weekly regular. So was there something different about this Sunday? Well, said Ethel, he was perfectly OK until the ice-cream van went by....