Post by: jepinto on September 28, 2003, 09:37:51 PM
Naw, that's not the couch upon which she reigns.
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DOGS
1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.
2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.
3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.
4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.
5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever he pleases.
6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.
8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works and buy new furniture...upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.
9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.
10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.
11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under the covers.
12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the pillow.
13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.
14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping. That's just not fair.
15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as "primary resident," even if it's true.
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The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andrew A. Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. M.Facklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. Sigmund Freud
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. James Thurber
I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. Penny Ward Moser
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. Robert Benchley
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. Rita Rudner
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. Dave Barry
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. Franklin P. Jones
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. Joe Weinstein
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Robert A. Heinlein
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A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
Oh -- come on smile...it's clean too !
Post by: sandbox on September 29, 2003, 01:02:13 AM
A friend who runs Greyhounds at Gandy Racetrack also finds homes for the dogs she retires, they make great pets.
Note: 6 foot fences need not apply for the position of “keeper of the dog”.
Carefully select a Vet who excepts the fact that dogs will live with tartar on their teeth.
Note: the tooth brushes the vet supplies work rather well.
PetsMart had birthday parties for your dogs!!
Note: avoid walking your Greyhound in high heels.
Post by: ljocampo on September 29, 2003, 03:38:49 AM
Post by: RobW on September 29, 2003, 05:53:02 AM
As I always say, Molly never has a bad day--even if I accidently step on her tail, she'll look at me an apologize. You haven't lived until you've had to take the temperature of a large dog.
Post by: Thomas S. England on September 29, 2003, 07:08:42 AM
Post by: RobW on September 29, 2003, 10:05:29 AM
Post by: jepinto on September 29, 2003, 10:24:44 AM
All: Did you know that greyhounds like to RUN? Flat out, body streaking, blur in motion? Beach, open field, fenced, obstacles, don't matter.
But a piece of advice....don't move while she's coming at ya. She expects you to be in that spot and will flat run you over if you ain't.
No bed, no bed, no bed! (in Lucy's hearing, no bed, yes bed, wait until Mom leaves bed.)
Post by: AmicusE on September 30, 2003, 07:15:27 AM
Thanks/æ
Post by: jepinto on September 30, 2003, 08:26:57 AM
Long version: The picture ust be on a web connected server. (We turned off uploading of pictures for security reasons.)
Send the picture to me, and I'll be happy to post it for you, or I'll upload it to the TS server and send you the link.
I'm @techsurvivors.net
Post by: Bill on September 30, 2003, 10:12:11 AM
Nice pictures.
Post by: AmicusE on October 01, 2003, 02:26:48 PM
This is Nicodemus, aka "the little man". He's an Italian Greyhound and he's doing what he does best, lolling around with all of his little friends. If you like to meet people in strange places, take a greyhound, a whippet or an IG for a walk and you'll be asked lots of questions.
All the best/æ
Post by: RobW on October 01, 2003, 02:34:13 PM
(It's scary how many people--including doctors, nurses, etc., believe everything they see.
)
Post by: sluggo on October 01, 2003, 08:50:22 PM
Post by: RHPConsult on October 01, 2003, 11:33:21 PM
A sign was hung in an office window. It read:
• Help wanted.
• Must type 70 words a minute.
• Must be computer literate.
• Must be bilingual.
• An equal opportunity employer.
A dog was ambling down the street and saw the sign. He looked at it for a moment, pulled it down with his mouth, and walked into the manager'srs office, making it clear he wished to apply for the job.
The office manager laughed and said, "I can't hire a dog for this job."
The dog pointed to the line: "An equal opportunity employer."
So the manager said, "OK, take this letter and type it." The dog went off to the word processor and returned a minute later with the finished letter, perfectly formatted.
The manager said, "Alright, here's a problem. Write a computer program for it and run it."
Fifteen minutes later, the dog came back with the correct answer.
The manager still wasn't convinced. "I still can't hire you for this position. You've got to be bilingual."
The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow."
B)
Post by: dolphin on October 04, 2003, 08:08:19 AM
Good one Dick!
Post by: bellbram on October 06, 2003, 06:23:33 AM
I have to be honest and say I hadn't a clue how to post pix on this site, but dear Jennie scaled these down for me and gave me the necessary info.
Thank you Jennie
Post by: bellbram on October 06, 2003, 08:28:45 AM
Won't bore you any more
Post by: jepinto on October 06, 2003, 08:46:42 AM
Love Newfies. Had one when we lived in Newfoundland, brought Brandy to Mississippi Gulf Coast (not the best place for all that hair!)
He quit liking rain storms after going through Camille. Ever see a 200 lb. Newfie try to crawl under a bed?
Post by: Highmac on October 06, 2003, 04:33:42 PM
.Glad we've got some dog people on the site - I sometimes wondered if I was the only 'non-cat' person here... At one time we had a pure-bred
mongrel. There was a bit of... well, just about everything, probably - collie, labrador, greyhound (boy, could she change lightbulbs!). We got her from the RSPCA when she was about five. Her original owner was in the RAF, got posted abroad and couldn't take her with the rest of the family. They had lived in a town, we lived in a village, so a walk in the fields was a new experience for her. First time out, we let her off (no livestock about and a bag of biscuits at hand), and she snuffled about a bit before a pheasant took off. It stayed low and she chased it until it proved to her it could clear the hedge on the other side of the field and she couldn't.... Once she scrambled back out of the hedge she wandered back with a most puzzled expression. Lovely nature but it must have been that the first owners were referring to when they named her Belle!
Post by: Dreambird on October 06, 2003, 08:01:13 PM
I guess I'll put up a pic of my Spencer too... or is that "Spencer's DB"? He's the boss here and I know it...
Spencer
Well... maybe two, this pic was in kinda poor light with one of those cheap throw away cameras, so I turned it into more of a slightly sepia toned "painted" look... *shrug** I like it:
Another One
Post by: kps on October 08, 2003, 12:29:59 PM
Vancouver sign...bilingual.
Post by: Bruce_F on October 08, 2003, 12:42:51 PM
If you're interested...
Take Me Home
Post by: bellbram on October 09, 2003, 03:18:07 AM
Liked your sign kps, but where are the dogs? Perhaps they can't read.
They can where I come from. At least German Sheps can:
