Post by: jb on December 09, 2003, 09:17:50 AM
1. CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, shag is good.
2. DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things, This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season.
3. GUESTS: Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that human's lap. If you can, arrange to have "Friskies Fish n' Glop" on your breath. For sitting on laps or rubbing against clothing, select fabric color which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white furred cats go to black wool clothing. For the guest who claims, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain; apply claws to stockings or use a quick nip on the ankle. When walking among the dishes on the dinner table, be prepared to look surprised and hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey, "But you always allow me on the table when company isn't here." Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It isn't necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
4. WORK: If one of your humans is sewing or writing and another is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering:
A. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You can't be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up and consoled.
B. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the human's eyes and the book, unless you can lie across the book itself. If it is a news paper, claw at it until shredded.
jb
Post by: Paddy on December 09, 2003, 09:40:59 AM
V. COMPUTERS
1: only show interest in computers that are turned ON, the operator will need your help.
2: Monitors are bad for human eyes. It might ruin your owner's sight and cause them to buy less cat food. Always get in between the monitor and the person operating the computer. For best results, stands as close to the monitor as possible. If you are removed, go and sulk in a corner for a minute, then repeat. Look as innocent as possible.
3: Keyboards are great to lie down on. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Marching over the keyboard several times is fun too. Practice aiming at alt-F4, N, and ctrl-alt-del.
4: Always chase the mouse. Your owner can't blame you for this, since it's your feline instinct to chase mice.
Post by: Bruce_F on December 09, 2003, 10:04:24 AM
I miss having my little buddy around. ...well, sometimes. Especially when someone reminds me of just how endearing cats are.
Post by: Spartacus on December 09, 2003, 10:10:54 AM
QUOTE(Paddy @ Dec 9 2003, 5:40 PM)
More:
V. COMPUTERS
1: only show interest in computers that are turned ON, the operator will need your help.
2: Monitors are bad for human eyes. It might ruin your owner's sight and cause them to buy less cat food. Always get in between the monitor and the person operating the computer. For best results, stands as close to the monitor as possible. If you are removed, go and sulk in a corner for a minute, then repeat. Look as innocent as possible.
3: Keyboards are great to lie down on. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Marching over the keyboard several times is fun too. Practice aiming at alt-F4, N, and ctrl-alt-del.
4: Always chase the mouse. Your owner can't blame you for this, since it's your feline instinct to chase mice.
V. COMPUTERS
1: only show interest in computers that are turned ON, the operator will need your help.
2: Monitors are bad for human eyes. It might ruin your owner's sight and cause them to buy less cat food. Always get in between the monitor and the person operating the computer. For best results, stands as close to the monitor as possible. If you are removed, go and sulk in a corner for a minute, then repeat. Look as innocent as possible.
3: Keyboards are great to lie down on. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Marching over the keyboard several times is fun too. Practice aiming at alt-F4, N, and ctrl-alt-del.
4: Always chase the mouse. Your owner can't blame you for this, since it's your feline instinct to chase mice.
http://geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/498c.html
Post by: jepinto on December 09, 2003, 10:52:55 AM
QUOTE(Bruce_F @ Dec 9 2003, 11:04 AM)
I miss having my little buddy around. ...well, sometimes. Especially when someone reminds me of just how endearing cats are.Bruce: Cats travel well, so you may have room for a little buddy. I traveled for three years with a blue point Siamese male (actually, he allowed me to travel with HIM)
Just as at home, have one place for water and food, and keep it there, and yes, you will need a small spot for the "other end"
but Bleu adapted very well. In fact, he knew when it was time; up in the van he'd hop, and sit in his regular space, with that look on his face, you know, the "Why aren't you packed and ready? Where is my food? Oh, you silly human".The main requirement of any animal is a loving enviroment.
Post by: Bill on December 09, 2003, 11:03:43 AM
She has always had full range of the entire street. Goes where she wants on anyones property. Dogs or no dogs. She just gets along with anyone .. plain and simple.
Now days she stays closer too home due too new 'faces' on the block and of her age of course.
Yesterday afternoon/lastnight I had to zip off some two hundred miles for business jive.
Come pulling up to my gate at 3am and see Smokey and Brigit <<all grins>> greeting me.
~~~ now if I could only find a woman who would put up with me ~~~
That's asking way to much!
Post by: Bruce_F on December 09, 2003, 11:52:14 AM
QUOTE(jepinto @ Dec 9 2003, 9:52 AM)
Bruce: Cats travel well, so you may have room for a little buddy. I traveled for three years with a blue point Siamese male (actually, he allowed me to travel with HIM)
Jennie,
Getting a travel partner crossed my mind, but that kind of decision is way down the road, so to speak.