I hear what you are saying and I'm sympathetic. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm afraid things are going to get worse before /if they are to get better. People should not have to be IT professionals to get their email or surf the web safely. Unfortunately, that seems to be where things are headed. I wish I had the details, but I saw an article the other day that referred to some security researcher who has been tracking the activities of a "bot net" and the incredible degree of control that the bot controller appeared to have. It was estimated that this bot net numbered at least 2 million computers and could be more than 50 million. The controller seemed to be testing his network and was demonstrating the ability to "turn on or off" any number of computers that he/she wished at will.
Again, I don't know exactly what to say. I have several family members for which I am their only real tech support. One of them is running windows... I have already done more than one format and reinstall due to spyware infestations. He is running antivirus, antispyware, he is behind a NAT router and has automatic updates turned on. You can only practice so much security. Proper user behavior is really the only effective solution. I guess I am back to that user responsibility thing.
Obviously there are always going to be a large percentage of computer users who just won't or can't protect themselves. What we do about that is a question that I can't answer.
Steve