My Resume:
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice
factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just
wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but
that was too exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would
add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way
I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I
found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I
didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but
I just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but
discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
11. I managed to get a good job working for a
Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but
they said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady
work! , I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there
was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I
had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
15.
SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M
PERFECT FOR THE JOB! 
