Finally - after numerous exchanges, I got a cogent explanation of what all those numbers mean.
Apparently, Apache Server Status reports on
Apache - not on whether the server itself is up or down. Of course, for our purposes, it's one and the same, since without Apache, we're dead in the water. Ditto the CPU load reporting in that status report - it's reporting on what percentage of the CPU horsepower is being used by Apache. Obviously, the higher it is, the higher the load, though if something is busy making all sorts of calls via MySql etc. the total CPU load could be high even if Apache is low(er).
The
CPanel server load was 19.35?? (or the uptime.php link - same thing) If that's the case, that's insane and I need to add it to my ongoing conversation with Tech Support (I'm now talking to a Level 2 tech).
I'm fairly sure of where I want to migrate to:
http://rose.asmallorange.com/uptime.php (it's the Northlea server) or maybe this one:
http://isabel.asmallorange.com/uptime.php