Author Topic: Teachers strike back............  (Read 2782 times)

Offline RogerF

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Teachers strike back............
« on: February 23, 2003, 04:56:00 AM »
Every teacher has had the experience of a put-down, but this has to rank with one of the better efforts ....

A high school English teacher reminded her class of their final exam the next day.

"Remember, I won't tolerate ANY excuses for you not being there tomorrow.  I might consider a nuclear attack or serious personal injury,  illness, or  a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses  whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. Silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the  student, shakes her head, and sweetly says"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

It took 15 minutes for the class to come to order.....

Offline Vijay

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Teachers strike back............
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2003, 07:13:00 AM »
lol

Offline Gregg

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« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2003, 07:51:00 AM »
ROTFLM*O
Ya gotta applaud those bunnies for sacrificing their hearing just so some guy in Cupertino can have better TV reception.

Offline Bbob

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« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2003, 12:46:00 PM »
As a former teacher of many years, I can vouch for the fact that fully half the students in schools (public, private, home schools, whatever) are below average. I never found the courage to tell that to parents, of course.

Bbob with a Cube

Offline JoeDu

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Teachers strike back............
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2003, 02:38:00 PM »
Bbob, that was a joke, right? The very definition of "average" means half are below average and half are above...

Offline RobW

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« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2003, 02:51:00 PM »
JoeDu, as one of the doctors I work with is fond of saying "Just remember, 50% of all doctors finished in the bottom half of their medical school class."
-Rob
A couple of IMacs, an iPad, a bunch of iPhones...two of which don’t live here, but I still pay for. Oh yeah, wife, daughters, and yes—a grandson!

Offline Bbob

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« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2003, 03:23:00 PM »
JoeDu, Well, it is SORT of a joke. However I was serious about not telling parents their child was below average--in those words. After all, as Garrison Keillor says, "...and all the children are above average." We all think our children are above average, although that is statistically impossible. An old education prof once told me that, as teachers, we do the best we can with whatever is sent to us.

And, of course, "No child left behind," is an impossibility.

Bbob with a Cube

Offline krissel

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« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2003, 06:48:00 PM »
Roger's  joke reminded me of the one time I kind of "lost it" when dealing with a particularly obnoxious kid in one of my classes.

After repeated attempts to molify this youngster's outbursts and attention grabbing, I asked him just what he expected to do with his life.

"I'm gonna be on TV!", he said.

I replied, "Yeah,  America's Most Wanted. "


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Offline RogerF

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Teachers strike back............
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2003, 03:16:00 AM »
Just a reminder; everybody's teachable....

Octopus opens jars

An octopus in a German zoo has learned to open jars of shrimp by watching zoo attendants perform the act underwater.

Frida, a five-month-old female octopus, opens the jars by pressing her body on the lid and grasping the sides with the suckers on her eight tentacles. With a succession of body twists she unscrews the lid.

"Depending on how tight the lid is, it takes her anything from 10 seconds to an hour to get it off," said Frank Mueller, head of the aquarium at the Hellabrunn Zoo. Frida opens shrimp jars before the public at feeding time twice a week.

Mueller said he taught Frida the trick after he remembered seeing octopuses showing remarkable dexterity off the coast of Morocco, where he went diving when he was younger. Frida was imported from Morocco

and some administrators actually care.....

School administrator cuts own job

A school administrator in Dollar Bay, Mich., has proposed a job cut - his own - to help the district fight its growing budget deficit.

Dollar Bay-Tamarack Superintendent Robert Barrette said he plans to recommend eliminating his position.

"I cost money," Barrette said. "I've looked at everything else but
there's just not a lot to cut in our budget."

When the school board meets in March to develop next year's budget, Barrette plans to recommend his own termination and the consolidation of his position with that of principal William Tarbox.

"It's either that or cut teachers," Barrette said. "Schools are about kids. If we cut teachers we hurt the quality of education, but eliminating an administrator won't hurt kids."

 Copy the above quote; it may be the only time you ever hear it from an administrator"
 
 [ 02-26-2003, 04:21 AM: Message edited by: RogerF ]

Offline JoeDu

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Teachers strike back............
« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2003, 07:42:00 AM »
Integrity is such a rare commodity.

"A hero is one who takes great personal risks for the benefit of others without the want of personal gain."
-Marylin Vos Savant.

Robert Barrette fits that definition.