Author Topic: OT: Ah, marriage . . .  (Read 2189 times)

Offline RHPConsult

  • TS Addict
  • Posts: 7859
    • View Profile
    • http://
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« on: July 12, 2006, 02:54:51 PM »
A WOMAN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check, or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."



WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men."

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"



MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor say, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He then addressed the men: "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently, and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

Offline kimmer

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 9086
    • View Profile
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2006, 06:16:35 PM »
Oh! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Too funny.

I think if I took the remote shopping with me, I'd return home to find Sneakers curled up in a ball having withdrawals.  rofl.gif
« Last Edit: July 12, 2006, 06:16:55 PM by kimmer »

Offline jwboyd

  • Super Duper Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 912
    • View Profile
    • http://
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2006, 07:54:00 PM »
As I read the first paragraph, I assumed we would learn that she had intended to put her cell phone into her purse, but picked up the remote instead.

True story:
My wife and I were in the family room one evening. I was in the LaZBoy reading and she was on the couch watching TV. I heard her say, "Why won't this thing change channels?" I glanced up and saw that she was punching buttons on the cordless telephone, trying to change TV channels!

( I'm a geezer, married to a geezette! )
I'm not a complete idiot -- a few parts are missing!

Offline Highmac

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 5455
    • View Profile
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2006, 02:45:58 AM »
Don't know if many of you non-UK folks have seen a sitcom called Only Fools and Horses. Joe's story reminded me of one episode in which main character, a bit of a "dodgy dealer" called Delboy, had acquired a batch of equally dodgy mobile phones. As he demonstrated one to a prospective customer in a pub, we could see the TV behind them changing channels - much to the annoyance of the customers who were trying to watch a football (soccer!) match....

And, Dick, Caroline would confirm that No2 is definitely the case in our house.... wink.gif
Neil
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.

Offline Gregg

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 11748
    • View Profile
    • http://
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2006, 07:56:46 AM »
"Ah, marriage..."
Tis glorious! My better half is spending the week with me caring for my parents. It's the centerpiece of our summer vacation.

As far as the "second one" it seems that I do more of the talking when we take walks together. And there's plenty of repetition going on in both directions. I tell her she's not listening, or enunciating... depending on who says "Huh?". wink.gif
Ya gotta applaud those bunnies for sacrificing their hearing just so some guy in Cupertino can have better TV reception.

Offline kcourt

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 908
    • View Profile
    • http://
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2006, 10:02:52 AM »
QUOTE
I glanced up and saw that she was punching buttons on the cordless telephone, trying to change TV channels!


My husband used to do that.  dntknw.gif

Also, he was famous for changing the channel in the middle of a very dramatic scene, without telling me.  Very frustrating, but how could we live without them?
 wub.gif


Kathy flower-smilie.gif
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly....
Leave the rest to God

Offline snuffysbluff

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1374
    • View Profile
    • http://
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2006, 11:31:11 AM »
QUOTE(kcourt @ Jul 13 2006, 10:02 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Very frustrating, but how could we live without them?
 wub.gif
Kathy flower-smilie.gif


Husbands or remotes?  tongue.gif

Offline Xairbusdriver

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 26388
  • 27" iMac (mid-17), Big Sur, Mac mini, Catalina
    • View Profile
    • Mid-South Weather
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2006, 09:37:07 PM »
So...

Did Lil come back with you? harhar.gif
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline RHPConsult

  • TS Addict
  • Posts: 7859
    • View Profile
    • http://
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2006, 01:26:28 AM »
Absolutely.

You can take the girl out of Ohio, even if you can't (don't want to) take Ohio out of the girl!

 Devilish2.gif  flower-smilie.gif  blush-anim-cl.gif

Offline kcourt

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 908
    • View Profile
    • http://
OT: Ah, marriage . . .
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2006, 01:20:35 PM »
QUOTE(snuffysbluff @ Jul 13 2006, 11:31 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Husbands or remotes?  tongue.gif


Well both, I guess - husbands especially!  cheer.gif

Kathy  flower-smilie.gif
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly....
Leave the rest to God