OT: A Tribute

[kimmer]

Deepest sympathies from Sneakers and I both, Gregg. It's never easy to lose a loved one. I still have days when I shed tears for my pop and my mom, and I will forever feel badly that I wasn't able to hug my mom one last time. I'm so glad you were there with your mom.

This poem was sent to me when my dad died, and the words touched my heart. Perhaps they will help to ease your sorrow as well.


~The Master Weaver~

The pattern of our lives is formed with tender loving care,
And He who does the weaving works in colours dark and fair.
We see odd strands of colour as the tapestry unfolds,
Not understanding there must be greys among the golds.
But in the Master Weaver's eye the whole design is clear,
For He alone knows why and where the dark threads must appear.
And if we trust His guiding hand, then one day we shall see
The final picture woven in a perfect tapestry.



~ Author UnKnown ~

[jepinto]

There are many poems,, tributes, etc. that I would link to...but... Gregg the only thoughts I have right now are that your Mum must've been a great lady to have produced a son as loving as you.

My thoughts are with you.  I'll raise a glass in respect this week, blessing her passage onto the better place.  May all our trips be as well accompanied.

Hugs from all of us, be secure in knowing we (all of TS) feel your pain and wish we could be there in person for you.

[jcarter]

Dear Gregg,  Our thoughts are with you too, and having being thru this with both our wonderful mothers, My husband and I always focus on the wonderful times that we have had all thru our lives.
My brother has made some amazing photo albums for us.
Life does indeed have to end, but the wonderful times that we have had and the lifetime of fun and good times is what we have made our family albums and talk on. And we do have a lot of family gatherings, weddings, and get togethers,,,,,and all of them are times when we talk about the loving people in our lives who are no longer here.  Its really something that makes a lot of great stories come alive for the grandkids.  You need to make hard copies too, with a lot of notes and text along with the pictures.
Yes, its hard when it happens, but its the great life and love that they gave us that we remember.
Jane

[themagpie]

Gregg, you are very much in my thoughts at this sad time.  Your tribute to your wonderful mother made me weep.  She must have been a very special person and you are too.  Accept my deepest condolences.

Margie

[Xairbusdriver]

Even those of us who have shared this kind of experience cannot know exactly how you are coping with this loss. But know that all of us are thinking of you and your family. It is wonderful that your Mom could make it clear that she knew you were all there and the love you had for her. With that knowledge, she must have had more than enough courage to 'let go'. I'm sure she was thanking you for your loving help.

[Gregg]

Thank you all for your sincerity and love. I can't reply to each post - I know none of you are expecting a reply - besides, the "Quote+" button here does not work on Mom's little computer. But, there are a few that I can remember through my tears...

Steve, I had the same mixed feelings you expressed. I wanted her suffering to end, by getting better. I held on to that for a long time. But, that final night, I knew for sure that the way to do that was to let go. Lisa had been by Mom's side every day for 52 days. She reached that point long before I did. Lisa did so much for Mom in those visits. She stayed there for the final 36 hours or more. I could say so much more about her...

Jennie, a great lady indeed! Your wish that we all be so well accompanied has brought me to tears several times today. That is a wonderful affirmation that ranks as high as Lisa's "That was the greatest thing you've ever done." (as you see, modesty is one of her many strengths)

Dick, you are so right, as usual.

Thanks for the poem. I'm sorry that I can't remember for sure who posted it. Today, I found one that is very similar that Mom had clipped out and kept in her Bible. That makes the one you found for me even more special.

Bob and Joe, your words touched me also. I'm just not able to remember them at the moment to say something more meaningful.

Everyone who recounted similar experiences, I share your loss. That you can all look back now and give words of wisdom is such a comfort. Thank you.

Everyone who expressed condolences (and that was all of you), thank you.

I know I will read through your posts again (never at work though!) and see thoughts that really touched me that I haven't mentioned here. I deeply appreciate them all.

[Parker]

god bless your family gregg
i hope everything is going smoothly now
:'(

[krissel]

Gregg, you know each of us feels your loss in ways that relate to our own experiences. Your description of the final hour with your Mom surely opened up emotions tucked away from our past. Were it not for the ability to touch-type, I couldn't finish this.

My sympathies are with you and your family.  

Bless your Mom. We know she raised a good son.

[Gregg]

She had help. My Dad was more "behind the scenes", but I was a tag along son. He spent time with me that I wish I had spent with my sons, and I told him so this morning. It has just been me and Dad in the mornings and evenings - except the night of Mom's passing when my sister stayed here also. Dad has opened up and talked to me more than I can remember before.

Tonight he was recounting stories of his service in WWII and the 3C's and just growing up. I know he's shared some of those before, but he had my rapt attention -even with "my" Cubs on TV! It's ironic that the Cubs and Cardinals were playing last Friday evening, and the TV was on in Mom's hospital room, tuned to the game, but with the sound turned off. I looked at it from time to time, but of course I don't remember when it was turned off. My sister told me tonight that she did that at some point. Mom didn't like baseball, but I'm sure she was not aware of the TV. I'm almost sure Dad was not aware of what was on the TV either. Dad is a lifelong Cardinals fan. He didn't try to influence my choice of a favorite team.

I'm feeling bad that my rambling has turned this post into sports talk. But that's a big father-son thing too. I took Dad to his only big league game in Chicago, and to a minor league game in Denver. At that one, the opponent happened to be a Cardinals affiliate, wearing the same uniform as the big league team. There we sat, me in a Cubs hat, Dad in a Cardinals hat that I had given him. That got us more than a few knowing smiles. It's one of my best memories.

My sister said tonight that Mom's newest final gift to us was the chance to get closer to Dad. I'm sure there will be many more "final gifts" from her. (Dad's hearing has been a problem for years. With Mom here, we would sit and talk with her in the kitchen while Dad would be watching TV, checking in on our conversation, but not able to catch it all. The back and forth nature of it, and two people talking at once made it hard for him to hear anything but "noise".)

We also discovered that Mom had left baby blankets that she had knitted for each grandchild, the youngest now 10 years old, to have for their firstborn. (They have 4 great grandchildren now.) I eagerly await the arrival of my wife and two sons tomorrow to present theirs to them. Mom left an envelope in both of theirs.

Well, that's more that anyone here wanted to know I guess, but it's good therapy for me - right Lorraine?

[DaveF]

Gregg,
For some inexplicable reason, until tonight, I've missed your moving tribute to your mother.  I want to add my heartfelt condolences to those already sent to you from the many kind and caring TS'ers.

Dave

[cdub1988]

Gregg,

I'm pulling in the trail end here, too.

Sorry it is so late, but even more sorry to hear about your loss.

Take care,

Chris

[Gregg]

Thanks to those of you who have posted following my previous thank you. I appreciate each and every one of you taking the time to express your condolences.

Today was the funeral and interment at the cemetery. I stopped at Mom's mother's grave and was shocked when I did the math... 15 years between their parting this earth. It seems like Grandma has been gone for much longer. We raised our kids in that time (now 20 and 23). For those who remember detail (from the first post) yes, Mom's Dad and brother are also buried next to Grandma.

Today was an overcast day, but there was only a slight drizzle for a brief moment or two on the 1 hour drive to the cemetery. At least there wasn't a heat wave. Dad would have wilted. I think he held up pretty well. We continue to have long talks. I will miss that when I have to return home. I guess I'll be calling more and yelling into the phone so he can hear me. I always talked to Mom on the phone, but when she was in the hospital, I called her there daily, and I called Dad every Saturday at home.

So we begin a new chapter in our grieving... going about our lives as best we can. I'm so glad that my sister Lisa is close and able to look after Dad. It will be up to her to step in for Mom. But she says, "He's not a burden, he's my Daddy." I'll be visiting more often, as I began to do in March. I only wish the recent ones had been for other reasons.

[jwboyd]

Hi, Gregg!

Your posts are so moving and eloquent. Lisa's tribute ("He's not a burden, he's my Daddy.") is tender and touching -- a true classic.

You mentioned your Dad's hearing problems. I want to tell you about a new telephone I got a couple of months ago, which might improve the quality of your communications with him. It's a Clarity phone, manufactured by Walker, available at Radio Shack. It comes in several different versions. The one I got has a cordless handset. The ringer also activates a flashing light. And it has a volume control. I can use it with or without my hearing aids, and it's been most helpful.

Hope this helps.

Blessings,
Joe

[chriskleeman]

Gregg,

Just want to add my voice to the chorus here. My mother is still well, even approaching 81, but my Dad passed away in 1997. Those were some of the toughest times in my life, and all my sympathy to you and your family. All I can tell you is that it will get better, and give yourself lots of time and room to grieve. Remember to take  good care of yourself too!

Chris K

[Mrious_be]

That brought tears to my eyes...

Really sorry for your loss Gregg, i know for sure she will live on in your memories as a treasure.

My sympathy to you and your family.