Advice for a friend

[Bill-R]

Hello,

I work with/for a good friend of mine.  The business is operated out of there house and I have gotten to know the family really well.  Today they are having to put the family dog to sleep.  He is 13 years old and his name is Duder (short for Deuteronomy) Lisa, my friends wife, is handicapped and in a wheel chair and this dog has been a very special friend to her. He has been her companion and helper all his life.  I do not do the death thing well and I am at a total loss as to what to say.  I love these people very much and I feel that there is nothing I can say or do that does not come out sounding or looking stupid.  Does anybody have any advice for me so that I can help them in some small way?

Thanks,

Bill

[jepinto]

Bill-It's not what you say, it is THAT you say it.  None of us quite know what to say in the face of loss, but knowing someone is sharing the pain goes a long way.

A simple "I will surely miss Duder." will help.  The acknowledgment of his existence and passing, the obvious love your friends have for him is the love you can "share back" to them.

[Xairbusdriver]

Who says you have to say anything? If you don't have words to express yourself, you can still show your concern. And you can even say that you don't have words to express yourself.

It has taken me many years to be able to admit that I don't always have the exact words to "fix" something. When we start talking about emotions, many men still try to do the "fixing" thing!

Just be available when you can and let them know you are concerned. Being friends, I'll bet they've already seen that you are concerned, anyway.

[Bill-R]

Thanks for the advice - Both replies helped out alot.


Bill

[krissel]

Someone sent me the "Rainbow Bridge" poem when I lost a beloved dog. Initially it made me cry but ultimately helped.

There are other poems on this page as well.

http://www.dennydavis.net/poemfiles/petdeath.htm

[chriskleeman]

Hi Bill,

I've had to put down 3 dogs, and in our family, the dogs are just that, family. Each one of these great animals were our friend, protector and companion. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done, and there is such great sadness when we have lost a dog.

Just knowing that you care is a great place to start. It's up to you what you think may be appropriate, almost any gesture of good will and remembrance of the animal works for me.

I've had people give us cards, hugs, phone calls, knowing looks; one dog even warranted a bottle of Champagne from a friend to toast his wonderful life (the same dog that's in the animated .gif on my website).

It's all good, and very much appreciated. And I am very sorry for your friend's loss, I know it all too well.

HTH,

Chris K