British humOUR

[jb]

An American soldier with his combat gear and bag boarded a British railway train. He walked the lenght of  the train and found no empty seat. As he walked the lenght of the train he had noticed that a seat next to an elderly lady was occupied by  a small dog.

He returned to that seat and politely asked the lady if he could have the seat instead of the dog.

The lady replied “All you Americans are a bunch of bold, assuming, brash, forward, presumptuous, rude, domineering, pushy, people. The answer is no! “.

The soldier walked the lenght of the train again and finding no seat, returned to the seat that the dog was occupying. Again he politely asked the lady if he could have the seat as he was very tired. 

The lady replied “All you Americans are a bunch of bold, assuming, brash, forward, presumptuous, rude, domineering, pushy, people. The answer is no! “.

At this point the soldier took the dog and threw it out the window.

An elderly gentleman watching all this shouted “Well you American, not only are you a bold,  assuming, brash, forward, presumptuous, rude, domineering, pushy, person, but also an idiot. You threw out the wrong bitch!”  

[kbeartx]

QUOTE(jb @ Oct 8 2007, 03:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...He walked the lenght of  the train and found no empty seat... As he walked the lenght of the train ...
The soldier walked the lenght of the train again ...

"lenght"?  Must be the Canadian spelling....


BTW IMO, if you make it thrice in the same post, it's not a typo anymore, it's an error in thinking.

 

[krissel]

I'll bet jb copypasted that and never bothered to check the spelling.

That said, thank goodness I have yType and Typeit4Me active on my puter.  I can't tell you how many times it has autocorrected my reversal of letters.



And yes, I've done it many times in one session. It's just those fingers of mine don't always communicate with my brain when they should, or it is vice versa?

[Gregg]

QUOTE(krissel @ Oct 11 2007, 07:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's just those fingers of mine don't always communicate with my brain when they should, or it is vice versa?

My thought exactly... the right index finger is quicker than the left. (and in this instance, has the shorter path to travel)

[kbeartx]

all the more raisin to re-read what you've typed before you click 'submit' or 'send'

Spellcheckers are [thesedays] easy to find, easy to use, and IMO, one should not rite in publick withoute won!

 

[Highmac]

This one's been around for a while....

QUOTE

Spelling Poem

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

[Gregg]

...not long enough for me to have seen it before!

[weldiger]

I never could understand why you Brits put your trunks in the boot.
Over here folks put their boots in the trunk.
Over thar, Y'all say the Left side of the road is the Right side.
Most folk over here drive on the Right side of the road, and it is the Right side.
Y'all drive on tyres, and use petrol in the tank.
And I never could figger out what ye used the bonnet fer.

Us Redneks in the mountains drive with the tars on each side of the yaller line, so's if we meet another truck comin towards us, we can get ter the other side of the road quicker.  [a little white lightning in the tank, makes the engine run smother too.]

One of my sons says, "Ever body is a little crazy in thar own way."

I sez some folk is way ahead of the pack!

Y'all come see us now.  Ya hear?

wd