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Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 468057 times)

Offline jchuzi

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We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1110 on: April 02, 2016, 08:10:41 PM »
I don't recall seeing (hearing) any musical humor in this forum. For those who are starving for it, listen to Cat's Duet by Rossini.

Nuff' said!   Devilish2.gif
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Jon

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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #1111 on: April 03, 2016, 01:31:02 PM »
Another Ann Murray?! Not the (Morna) Ann Murray I wished had been the-girl-next-door to me! blush-anim-cl.gif Still have her LP's upstairs... She may not have sung like those two "cats", but she could sing to me anytime! clap.gif For those too young to have ever heard of her, she is the anti-"Lady" Gaga. rolleyes.gif Not "classical" but certainly a classic! thumbup.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #1112 on: April 17, 2016, 08:21:10 PM »
Even though TS frowns upon political comments, i can't resist this one. It applies to whatever your political persuasion happens to be:

 ELECTILE  DYSFUNCTION:   the inability to become  aroused  over any of the choices for President put forth  by  either party in the 2016 election year.              
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Jon

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Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #1113 on: April 17, 2016, 08:33:16 PM »
For some more musical humor, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m69aPAo1rXE for Anna Russell's "scholarly analysis" of Wagner's Ring Cycle. It's so funny because it's dead accurate.
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Jon

macOS 11.7.10, iMac Retina 5K 27-inch, late 2014, 3.5 GHz Intel Core i5, 1 TB fusion drive, 16 GB RAM, Epson SureColor P700, Photoshop CC, Lightroom CC, MS Office 365

Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #1114 on: May 02, 2016, 09:04:29 PM »
An engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators.  The engineer is a pretty popular guy.
   
One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down there?" Satan says, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
   
God is horrified. "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have gone down there! You know all engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here! " Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
   
"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?"
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Jon

macOS 11.7.10, iMac Retina 5K 27-inch, late 2014, 3.5 GHz Intel Core i5, 1 TB fusion drive, 16 GB RAM, Epson SureColor P700, Photoshop CC, Lightroom CC, MS Office 365

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #1115 on: May 04, 2016, 09:09:29 AM »
Even though I have a fairly simple CAPTCHA field on my Scam site <Contact page>, I do get messages from probably 'third world countries'. I can't decide if the following is a result of the "Nigerian School of Technology Abuse, Department of Writing" or their Programming section. laughhard.gif   
QUOTE
gud talked with you because I did many I receive letters from you much longer it would start in 2009 until today mam until now i still changed the lives Instrumental promised me that on april 28 will be difficult pong expect many that I have received a letter once that I 'd burn it but hope I'm still with you that someday you will keep your word to me I told you to call me on this number I gave you maybe also recieve you that would make you a word I left nalang yung illness difficult to treat my illness to me so I hope you will help me and please do me paasahin the good word to .............................. meevening
It appears that they are stressing the efficient use of punctuation. Or they just place all the sentence ending periods at the end! tease.gif

I think this is the fourth 'message' from "princejake". Unfortunately, he is not showing much improvement with his vocabulary or sentence structure. I would give him a solid B for perseverance, however. wink.gif I believe we should always praise in public and reprimand in private. Devilish2.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #1116 on: May 13, 2016, 01:03:17 PM »
<Professor’s airplane math didn’t equal threat>
Be sure to read the comments! laughhard.gif   

My grade in a 5 hr Calculus class would have allowed me to maintain a 1.0 GPA that semester!! I didn't impress anyone in those other classes, either! rolleyes.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline krissel

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« Reply #1117 on: May 27, 2016, 11:54:59 PM »
smile.gif  

(as I write from my old G4 tower...)
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Offline krissel

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« Reply #1118 on: May 29, 2016, 01:37:06 AM »
QUOTE(MakTekniko @ May 28 2016, 10:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My gosh, Krissel . . . Isn't it time to give that thing last rites? biggrin.gif


Noooo! wink2.gif

 I have a hard time giving up on an old friend. I only recycled my 9600 just last year. It ran 10.3.9 really well. smile.gif

This DA still runs fine and it has a ton of programs that won't work on my other Macs since Rosetta was dropped. I did upgrade this machine about 10 years ago with the latest innards at the time. Can't believe the two hard drives (500G and 300G) are still going. Yes, I've backed up. Actually I'm only using this old baby while I work on my house getting it ready to sell. My newer Macs are at the other place. Still, the only real complaint is not having a really good browser, Ten4Fox isn't cutting it anymore. rolleyes.gif
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Offline krissel

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« Reply #1119 on: May 30, 2016, 03:38:05 AM »
I'm running 10.5.8 which is as high as the PPC Macs can go. Ten4Fox is a special browser which is "equivalent" to Firefox. It was created for users of Tiger and Leopard on PPC machines. Present versions of regular Firefox will not run on PPCs.

Up until last August Ten4Fox was doing great and was able to run many of the add-ons that Firefox allows. But something changed and now it beachballs on many sites and gets hung up even while starting. I've resorted to using Stainless a lot which functions but is bare bones.
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Offline Jack W

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« Reply #1120 on: May 30, 2016, 08:05:52 AM »
Isn't this supposed to be a Humor thread?
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #1121 on: May 30, 2016, 12:25:18 PM »
No, you're probably thinking of our "Wee Knead Mour Humour" thread. This is a thread about ancient history and strange apps that used to inhabit computing devices back in the late '80's.
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #1122 on: May 30, 2016, 02:17:37 PM »
To get back on track (and supply a groaner to my "legions" of fans):

Benny Hill, the famous comedian, got married. He and his bride decided to tour Transylvania on their honeymoon. As they were driving, a storm came up and they crashed into a ditch. Igor, the hunchback, found them and took them to a forbidding-looking castle where Dr. Frankenstein had his busy practice. The good doctor attempted to revive them, but to no avail. Extremely distressed, he tried to console himself by playing the organ. The sounds of the organ drifted into the examination room and Igor saw, with great joy, that Mr. and Mrs. Hill had regained consciousness!

Beside himself with excitement, he ran up to the doctor and excitedly exclaimed, "The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"
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Jon

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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #1123 on: May 30, 2016, 05:48:28 PM »
Jon is not British, either, so I'm not sure how we explain his strange sense of "humor". His reliance on Puns made it necessary to find a specific smiley. Groaner.gif It's been used so often, some of its colors are starting to fade! Too much friction in those interweb tubes, I guess. dntknw.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #1124 on: May 30, 2016, 06:19:51 PM »
Obviously, Jim protesteth too much. Here's one more to feed his masochism appetite:

A graduate student in ichthyology was studying electric eels. He went to capture one, but it turned out to be like no electric eel that he had ever seen. He went to his advisor, who looked at the fish and told him that he was going about his studies in an incorrect manner. The advisor said, "In order to complete your project, you must combine ichthyology and astronomy. You cannot catch electric eels during the full moon." (Now that you have read this far, brace yourself...)

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a moray."
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Jon

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