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Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 468007 times)

Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1365 on: October 06, 2019, 11:20:27 AM »
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1366 on: October 07, 2019, 04:16:16 PM »
I have been notified that I have "emerged on [a] Lottery prize winner database in the month of October 2019 USA..." I know that there are many different time zones around the world (actually more than 24!) but I was unaware that different countries have different months! Apparently others also have an "October", not sure what other months the US of A may share... :Thinking: :coolio: :whoosh: :doh:
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1367 on: October 08, 2019, 02:02:10 PM »
Quote from: Xairbusdriver on October 06, 2019, 11:20:27 AM
More on "SPAM"!
Quote
Celebrating 50 Years Of 'Monty Python's Flying Circus'


I'm pretty sure I still have (in a box somewhere!) a 45 single of the Spam Song, backed by the Lumberjack Song - which I'm sure was much appreciated in Canada. IIRC it was a publicity copy sent to the paper I worked for at the time and it was left in the "help yourself" pile on the end of a desk.


Wonder if it's worth more now than a tin of Spam  :Thinking:
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Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1368 on: October 08, 2019, 02:27:50 PM »
Quote
Wonder if it's worth more now than a tin of Spam
Easily!! :thumbup:
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1369 on: November 26, 2019, 06:11:27 PM »
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey,!  " died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
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Jon

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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1370 on: November 26, 2019, 07:47:54 PM »
May YOU rest in peace!!!
Perhaps then the rest of us can...
:wallbash:                       
:doh:                   
:scram:
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1371 on: November 28, 2019, 09:19:51 AM »
Another, especially for Jim:

A man was consumed by his desire to know the meaning of life. He sold all his possessions and used the proceeds to travel around the world in search of a guru who could answer this important question. Finally, he found the guru at the top of a mountain in Tibet. The following conversation ensued:

man: O wise one, what is the meaning of life?

guru: The Hokey Pokey.

man (incredulous): The Hokey Pokey!!?

guru (shrugs): That's what it's all about.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2019, 02:03:03 PM by jchuzi »
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Jon

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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1372 on: December 09, 2019, 06:01:25 AM »
Someone stole my front door bell.


It's not a huge inconvenience.


But there is a knock-on effect...
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Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1373 on: December 09, 2019, 08:07:57 AM »
 “Knock on” The benefit from having British members at TS. :thumbup:
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1374 on: December 09, 2019, 08:12:47 AM »
In the news:

There will not be a Nativity Scene in Washington this Christmas. It seems that they could not find three wise men and a virgin.
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Jon

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Offline Frances144

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1375 on: December 09, 2019, 11:10:24 AM »
These make me chuckle! 
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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1376 on: December 09, 2019, 01:15:49 PM »
Frances: If you are an early riser and like terrible jokes, tune in to Tony Blackburn's Sounds of the 60s on Radio 2, every Saturday from 6am... (or catch up on iPlayer's "Sounds").


Many of them are the same ones he was cracking on Radio 1 back in the 60s....


Guess where the 'stolen bell' joke came from  :toothgrin:



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Neil
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Offline Frances144

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1377 on: December 10, 2019, 10:51:58 AM »
I am not an early riser! But I know what you mean about Tony Blackburn - not dissimilar to Tim Vine either!

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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1378 on: December 11, 2019, 02:25:04 AM »

Little lad comes home from school. He's in a terrible state - blood everywhere, shirt ripped, buttons torn off.

His mother takes one look at him and asks - "whatever happened to you?"

"I fell out with Jim."

"But Jim's your best pal."

"I know but we fell out, and as we'd been learning about duels, I challenged him to one - and one of the rules is that whoever accepts the challenge gets the choice of weapons."

His mother looked at the state of him and said "whatever did he choose?"







"His sister."
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Neil
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Offline Frances144

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1379 on: December 11, 2019, 11:35:09 AM »
Ta dish!
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