Author Topic: We need some Humor!!! (Read 467932 times)

Gregg · « **Reply #15 on:** March 25, 2007, 02:54:44 PM »

QUOTE(Highmac @ Mar 25 2007, 03:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mention in Dick's 'Branson' thread

Saw a Dolly Parton impersonator once. She was pretty good. Don't know how she got the, ahem... outfit to "measure up", but she got off a pretty good line.
"Hello up there in the balcony! Those seats aren't so bad after all, eh fellers?"

jepinto · « **Reply #16 on:** March 25, 2007, 05:44:58 PM »

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton

Texas Mac Man · « **Reply #17 on:** March 25, 2007, 08:44:34 PM »

jcarter · « **Reply #18 on:** March 25, 2007, 09:06:52 PM »

What a collection! This thread I must save, as I am almost there.
And by the way, another wonderful banner! Looks like a bit of KPT and texture filters here?
Jane

kimmer · « **Reply #19 on:** March 25, 2007, 09:33:58 PM »

QUOTE(jcarter @ Mar 25 2007, 06:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And by the way, another wonderful banner! Looks like a bit of KPT and texture filters here?
Jane

Sneakers says:
Thanks!

I can't get KPT to run in 10.4.9, so Coral Paint was used to create the background and everything else was done in PS.

Mrs. Sneakers

Highmac · « **Reply #20 on:** March 26, 2007, 02:13:19 AM »

QUOTE(Gregg @ Mar 25 2007, 08:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE

*Mention in Dick's 'Branson' thread...

This one...

jcarter · « **Reply #21 on:** March 26, 2007, 07:12:01 AM »

Hi Sneakers and Kimmer,
I just looked at my other Mac the one I just went to 10.4.9, and KPT runs fine.
Did your KPT run OK in 10.4.8?
It should work OK. Lets see if we can troubleshoot it, as it would be difficult to live without KPT.
I did buy Corel Paint recently, but havent used it yet much. If I took some lessons or hit the Lynda tutorials on it, I would probably love it.
Jane

Gregg · « **Reply #22 on:** March 26, 2007, 07:35:14 AM »

QUOTE(Highmac @ Mar 26 2007, 01:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This one...

Yes, I know. Look again.

RHPConsult · « **Reply #23 on:** March 26, 2007, 09:43:36 AM »

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.

"No," the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?. . . . . . . .

"No," said the little boy . . . "It's a puppy!

kimmer · « **Reply #24 on:** March 26, 2007, 10:58:29 AM »

ROFL @ RHP's joke ... HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital, and she timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator responded, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the patient's name and room number?"

The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse."

After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal. And her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried! God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."

RHPConsult · « **Reply #25 on:** March 26, 2007, 11:10:57 AM »

Truth in Advertising, Kimmer, compels me to acknowledge that that little number is an RNKiii contribution . . . but he's on-the-road, at present

Highmac · « **Reply #26 on:** March 27, 2007, 02:12:55 AM »

QUOTE(Highmac @ Mar 26 2007, 08:13 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This one...

Ahh.... A new day has dawned - and I've finally worked out what you were getting at Gregg

A true

moment on my part. Sorry!

----------------------------------------------

I'm at the age when I bend down to tie my shoe laces and ask myself if there is anything else I need to do while I'm down here...

You go into a room and can't remember why.... it's the bathroom...

Gregg · « **Reply #27 on:** March 27, 2007, 07:33:43 AM »

QUOTE(Highmac @ Mar 27 2007, 02:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ahh.... A new day has dawned - and I've finally worked out what you were getting at Gregg

A true

moment on my part. Sorry!

You go into a room and can't remember why.... it's the bathroom...

No problem. Just "giving you an elbow".

At least you have a built-in reminder for the other memory lapse.

kimmer · « **Reply #28 on:** March 28, 2007, 02:48:34 AM »

HAROLD THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T Error? What's that In case I need to fix it again?"

Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote it down.
I D 1 0 T

I used to like Harold.

Highmac · « **Reply #29 on:** March 28, 2007, 03:34:54 AM »

I thought you'd like to know that there are a lot of changes that are going to be taking place across the board as far as the servers & personal computers go.

The goal is to remove all laptop computers by 31 March 2007 and all desktop computers by 30 April 2007 as a part of the ongoing cost-cutting around the organization.

Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch.

There are many sound reasons for doing this:

1. No boot-up problems
2. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing email.
4. No more worries about power cuts.
5. Budget savings on Upgrades unparalleled

Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:

Q : My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it.

Regards
IT Technical Support Team

News:

Author Topic: We need some Humor!!! (Read 467932 times)