Author Topic: We need some Humor!!! (Read 468069 times)

Highmac · « **Reply #585 on:** March 20, 2010, 11:52:25 AM »

Thank you

RHPConsult · « **Reply #586 on:** March 20, 2010, 09:10:46 PM »

I this abundance of recent posts have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day?

Let's see if this one gets past the Airbusdriver Screening:

AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

She said, “I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.” With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...”YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stood there and stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”

The other answered, “I don't know - I thought you were watching!?”

MORAL OF THE STORY -
Not all Irish are drunks…
Not all blondes are dumb...
But, all men are . . . men!

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #587 on:** March 20, 2010, 09:46:49 PM »

I'm not sure if this is funny or sad.

app for that

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #588 on:** March 23, 2010, 07:23:33 PM »

OK, I know all our members are cordial, friendly, welcoming and warm...but you just know there's one in every crowd...

Well, the picture at <this site> shows what could happen to anyone acting like a smart a** around there!

RHPConsult · « **Reply #589 on:** March 23, 2010, 07:31:10 PM »

Looks like a "bumer" to me, Little Rock, that's for sure.

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #590 on:** March 23, 2010, 08:47:03 PM »

Personally, I think it was just a "slow news" day. That thing is more likely a new, industrial model Oreck vacuum. And there's no way to prove, form that picture, that there is even an airport with in 100 miles! I think some ash fell on some editors desk while he was sleeping and it smarted when he open his eyes! You know how stories get twisted around from one telling to the next! Never trust the "media," especially when they try to sell you a vacuum for picking up "smart ash!"

I think that guy may even be an unauthorized alien

from some other planet!

Why is wearing that mask?! From whom is he hiding?

It's all a conspiracy, I tell you!

Texas Mac Man · « **Reply #591 on:** March 26, 2010, 02:09:43 PM »

During a company's recent password security audit, it was found that one employee had the most secure password. It could not be hacked. They went to see the employee, a blonde, to discuss what she used for her password. The blonde said she was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

RHPConsult · « **Reply #592 on:** March 26, 2010, 03:36:31 PM »

That may not be the funniest posting now viewed 31,360 times over the past X months, but it has to rank right up in the top 3,

Bravo, Tom!!!!!

krissel · « **Reply #593 on:** March 31, 2010, 09:57:27 PM »

This isn't a joke but I found it quite funny, despite the serious context. It's from an article I was reading about the major flooding here in the northeast.

QUOTE

Demetri Skalkos, co-owner of McNamara's liquor store, said about 3 feet of water stood in the basement. He said he was worried about losing business over the traditionally busy Easter period.

"This is the Holy Week," he said. "If we don't do business now, when are we going to do business?"

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #594 on:** April 01, 2010, 09:51:00 PM »

Sounds like business-minded, business man who means business like nobody's business!

And now, since you brought up the subject of water: <For all you fishermen out there>

kimmer · « **Reply #595 on:** April 01, 2010, 11:10:13 PM »

QUOTE(Xairbusdriver @ Apr 1 2010, 06:51 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

<For all you fishermen out there>

Priceless.

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #596 on:** April 02, 2010, 10:10:56 AM »

I thought sneakers might enjoy that!

Only problem I see is retrieving that seat! those things are not cheap!

kimmer · « **Reply #597 on:** April 02, 2010, 12:15:22 PM »

Sneakers snickered.

I passed it on to all the folks in our little fishing club.

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #598 on:** April 19, 2010, 03:53:56 PM »

Over the weekend, I was out meandering through some local woods with another redneck. We came upon a very deep (sink) hole. Of course, bein inquizative, we wondered how deep it'were and looked around for somethin' ta throw down the hole! Afore long, we come upon a big ole transmission alayen on the ground, pert near missed it acause it were so covered with weeds and briars! It took both of us to pick it up and carry it back to the hole! But, on the count of three (Slim coudn't count no higher, anyway), we throwed it in. We must'a listened for a couple of minutes and never did heer nothin' hitin bottom!!! But we did heer some rustlin' in the woods. We turned around jist in time to see a goat comin' at us at 'bout a hunert miles an hour!!!

Naturlly, we jumped out of the way and that goat ran straight taward that hole and, without even a short hesytachun, jumped right into the hole, head first! We finely heered a 'splat' and figered it was a might to deep to climb down that hole! So we decided to get back to the house.

'Bout that time a farmer come along and asked if we'd seen anything of a goat 'round these parts. Well, sure nuff, we told him bout that hunert mile an hour goat that had jumped into that hole! But he said that weren't hisen, cause his was tide up to a big old transmission...

Texas Mac Man · « **Reply #599 on:** April 19, 2010, 07:36:04 PM »

A friend of mine hit (& killed) a deer on the highway. When I saw this comic I LOL & sent him the comic.

News:

Author Topic: We need some Humor!!! (Read 468069 times)