Perhaps some repeats, but they made me laugh.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”
Two cannibals are eating a clown. The one turns to the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?”
“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green Green Grass of Home.’” “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?” “Well, It’s Not Unusual.”
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
I went to a seafood disco last week, and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, “Dam!”
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victorys. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
