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Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 468081 times)

Offline kimmer

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We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #960 on: September 17, 2014, 09:48:35 PM »
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #961 on: September 17, 2014, 10:16:35 PM »
I have a friend named Gus's and like him, I'm disgusted with what passes for humor around here! I thought we had rules at TS! deadhorse.gif scram.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline kimmer

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« Reply #962 on: September 17, 2014, 11:42:28 PM »
I share groaner puns, or so I’ve been toad.
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Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #963 on: September 18, 2014, 06:03:12 AM »
QUOTE(kimmer @ Sep 18 2014, 12:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I share groaner puns, or so I’ve been toad.
Someone thought that I was telling the truth about toads and frogs but I had to 'fess up. I admitted that amphibian.
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Jon

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Offline gunug

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« Reply #964 on: September 19, 2014, 02:13:16 PM »
"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." - Charles Babbage
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"If there really is no beer in heaven then maybe at least the
computers will work all of the time!"

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #965 on: September 19, 2014, 05:21:07 PM »
Babbage in, garbage out?! ¿sdawkcab taht teg I did ,rO
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline kimmer

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« Reply #966 on: September 19, 2014, 09:37:45 PM »
A powerful joke!

[attachment=3059:powerjoke.jpg]
« Last Edit: September 19, 2014, 09:38:11 PM by kimmer »
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Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #967 on: September 20, 2014, 06:03:22 AM »
Ohm my! I'm revolted! I'll try to develop some resistance to those puns. Not to worry, I'll put no impedance in your way. I amp sure that my capacity to accept this stuff will improve.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2014, 06:06:04 AM by jchuzi »
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Jon

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Offline sandyman

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« Reply #968 on: September 20, 2014, 07:49:19 AM »
QUOTE(jchuzi @ Sep 20 2014, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ohm my! I'm revolted! I'll try to develop some resistance to those puns. Not to worry, I'll put no impedance in your way. I amp sure that my capacity to accept this stuff will improve.

You're a bit of a bright spark whistling.gif
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Offline kimmer

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« Reply #969 on: September 20, 2014, 01:14:00 PM »
QUOTE(sandyman @ Sep 20 2014, 05:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE(jchuzi @ Sep 20 2014, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ohm my! I'm revolted! I'll try to develop some resistance to those puns. Not to worry, I'll put no impedance in your way. I amp sure that my capacity to accept this stuff will improve.

You're a bit of a bright spark whistling.gif

To both of you:   notworthy.gif  thumbup.gif  clap.gif

You light up my life.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2014, 01:33:57 PM by kimmer »
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #970 on: September 20, 2014, 03:24:38 PM »
rolleyes.gif Absolutely shocking behavior by "adults"! Groaner.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jwboyd

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« Reply #971 on: September 20, 2014, 03:26:11 PM »
Conversation overheard in a bar. Makes sense when properly punctuated and inflected.

AB C D QTT

M N O QTT

O S A R C M AB

O I C M S A R




Admins: I meant this to go in the humor thread. Please put it there. Thanks!
Your slightest wish... wink.gif
« Last Edit: September 20, 2014, 04:01:26 PM by jwboyd »
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I'm not a complete idiot -- a few parts are missing!

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #972 on: September 20, 2014, 03:43:58 PM »
M N O solution, yet! I remember seeing (and it's better to hear it!) years ago but with my memory it could have been yesterday! wallbash.gif Anyway, if you'll give me a bit more thyme, I may be able to also say, "O I C"! laughhard.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #973 on: September 20, 2014, 06:55:18 PM »
A priest, a minister and a rabbi had regular theological discussions at the rabbi's house. One day, they got into a spirited argument about conversion. So, the priest issued a challenge: "Let's all try to convert a bear. We'll meet here in three weeks to report how it went."

In due course, they got together at the rabbi's house. The priest sported a broken arm and the others asked what happened. He replied, "I found a bear and wrestled with him briefly until I had a chance to pour holy water on him. Consequently, he accepted Jesus as his savior."

The minister had two broken arms and said, "I came across a bear and we wrestled up and down a hill until I dunked him in a stream. He then accepted Jesus as his savior."

The rabbi was in the worst shape of all. He had two broken arms and two broken legs, not to mention fractured ribs. He said, "I wasn't as successful as the two of you. In retrospect, it might not have been best to start with circumcision..."
« Last Edit: September 21, 2014, 06:07:27 AM by jchuzi »
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Jon

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Offline kimmer

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« Reply #974 on: September 24, 2014, 12:37:29 AM »
[attachment=3060:woofer.jpg]
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