Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 467940 times)

Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1440 on: May 29, 2020, 12:34:11 PM »
In what other thread could this be posted?! :dntknw:
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1441 on: May 29, 2020, 02:36:00 PM »
Airplane! is on my short list of the funniest movies ever made (I bought the DVD). The others, in no particular order, are Young Frankenstein, Some Like It Hot, The Princess Bride, The Great Race, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum, A Night At The Opera, and Duck Soup. I may have omitted some, but I definitely recommend these to aficionados of comedy.

EDIT: Let me add some more: You Don't Mess With The Zohan, and all Pink Panther films with Peter Sellers. If you can deal with the bizarre, often outrageous (definitely not politically correct) humor, try Borat.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2020, 04:58:44 AM by jchuzi »
Jon

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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1442 on: May 30, 2020, 11:43:04 AM »
We watched Some Like It Hot on BBC recently and as Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon were running to catch their train, in full drag, OH asked me who I thought was the best woman.


Apparently she was not expecting me to say Marilyn Monroe  :D 


Edit to add: We would include the zany It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. 1963 may be too far back for many of you, but it's worth seeing (IMHO), featuring most of the famous comedians of the era.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2020, 11:59:02 AM by Highmac »
Neil
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Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1443 on: May 30, 2020, 12:52:06 PM »
As I understand it, Marilyn Monroe was problematic during the making of Some Like It Hot. She would show up late, if at all, and was very temperamental. Someone asked Billy Wilder why he kept her in the film and he replied that he could hire his grandmother, who would be reliable, but nobody would come to see the film.
Jon

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Offline jwboyd

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1444 on: June 01, 2020, 06:49:56 PM »
This was found in a 1908 diary kept by Kate Boyd, who lived in England:

Too bashful to propose personally and too impatient to write, he said (by telephone) “My dear, dear Suzy, will you marry me?” She answered promptly “Yes, I will – who are you?”

Thanks, Frances!

(Edited to correct the date)
« Last Edit: June 03, 2020, 07:11:49 PM by jwboyd »
I'm not a complete idiot -- a few parts are missing!

Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1445 on: June 17, 2020, 06:22:03 AM »
Not sure how many times this has been recycled....



A man and wife, now in their 60s, are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy comes to them and says they have been so good that each could have one wish.


The wife wishes for a world trip with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she has air/cruise tickets in her hands.


The man wishes for a female companion 30 years younger.....
Whoosh!...immediately he turns 90!
Neil
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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1446 on: June 17, 2020, 09:38:52 AM »

I got a Neighbourhood Watch email this week urging me to alert older relatives to scams. I'm now at an age where I have no older relatives, so I've forwarded it to my son...  :toothgrin:
Neil
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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1447 on: June 26, 2020, 12:43:22 PM »
What did the French diner say when offered a second egg?

"Thank you - but un oeuf is un oeuf"


How do scientists work out how heavy an orca is?


They go to the whale-weigh station




Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1448 on: June 26, 2020, 02:34:16 PM »
WARNING: Raining on the Parade comments coming!!
That last one only works well in Europe. We don't have many whale weigh stations in the US any more. Unless you are located along one of the very few "whale" lines outside the eastern Whale corridor. 100+ years ago, passenger trains were "superior" to all other "whale" traffic. Now it is exactly the opposite.
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1449 on: June 27, 2020, 07:38:50 AM »
 :)  As Marie Antoinette is reputed to have said: "The pedants are revolting"  :D
Neil
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Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1450 on: June 27, 2020, 08:54:00 AM »
Winston Churchill was criticized for ending a sentence with a preposition. He is reputed to have said, "This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put."
Jon

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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1451 on: June 27, 2020, 11:37:53 AM »
...and yet, some how, with you, we continue to put up!! :laughhard: :scram:
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1452 on: July 08, 2020, 04:22:57 AM »
Our local swimming pool has given out info for when it reopens.

To aid social distancing, lanes 1, 3 and 5 will have no water in them.
Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1453 on: July 08, 2020, 09:37:22 AM »
Finally, some recognition for the "odd" among us!
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1454 on: July 09, 2020, 07:20:41 AM »
When I was a child, I became impatient with my violin teacher and I bit him. My mother was horrified but he was very calm. He told her that my Bach was worse than my bite.

After that incident, I decided to take up singing, for which I had even less ability. I went from bad to voice.
Jon

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