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Author Topic: Jargon we love to hate!  (Read 5137 times)

Offline Highmac

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Jargon we love to hate!
« on: November 05, 2010, 05:49:13 AM »
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Neil
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Offline kimmer

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« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2010, 12:06:02 PM »
Okay, I had to stop half-way through -- I'm laughing too hard. So far, this is my favorite:

QUOTE
17. "I work in one of those humble call centres for a bank. Apparently, what we're doing at the moment is sprinkling our magic along the way. It's a call centre, not Hogwarts."
Caroline Garlick, Ayrshire
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Offline Frances144

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« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2010, 12:14:33 PM »
Far, far too accurate
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Offline krissel

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« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2010, 10:51:12 PM »
Blame government and military speak.  It was anathema to use simple, clearly understood phrases. Someone might actually know what you are doing.  eek2.gif

The word that annoys me is "utilize".  What ever happened to "use"?  
The former is overly utilized. toothgrin.gif


QUOTE
At my old company (a US multinational), anyone involved with a particular product was encouraged to be a product evangelist. And software users these days, so we hear, want to be platform atheists so that their computers will run programs from any manufacturer."


I always thought it was "platform agnostic".  Thinking.gif
« Last Edit: November 07, 2010, 10:51:43 PM by krissel »
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Offline Highmac

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« Reply #4 on: November 08, 2010, 01:21:59 AM »
Guess it depends on how convinced you are smile.gif
From the Free Dictionary
QUOTE
An agnostic does not deny the existence of God and heaven but holds that one cannot know for certain whether or not they exist.

And....
QUOTE
Atheist - One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.

That second one came up on my screen accompanied by an ad for Scientology  whistling.gif

Perhaps "platform neutral" would be better  Thinking.gif

One newspaper I worked for decided to make a whole department of journalists redundant and the HR paperwork was, inevitably, full of jargon. HR people were a bit put out (to say the least) when they got about 50 letters, phone calls and emails asking what it all meant in plain English. The journalists did know, of course - just wanted to make a point.

Oh, and we over here reckon Americans utilise "z" far too often laughhard.gif
« Last Edit: November 08, 2010, 01:22:30 AM by Highmac »
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Neil
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Offline krissel

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« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2010, 02:07:08 AM »
I think "atheist" is not PC enough for the US media. "Agnostic" is less likely to offend anyone so it's used here.  rolleyes.gif


QUOTE(Highmac @ Nov 8 2010, 02:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh, and we over here reckon Americans utilise "z" far too often laughhard.gif


I realize that.  tease.gif
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Offline dboh

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« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2010, 01:47:00 PM »
Jargon is the bane of my existence. I've spent more time than I care trying to convince clients that while they may think they're being clever using such indecipherable language, they're really only antagonizing their audience (not a good thing when nonprofits are hitting up donors for more money).

This is often helpful: http://www.buzzwhack.com/index.html
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Offline Highmac

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« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2010, 01:49:08 AM »
QUOTE
personal stimulus recovery plan: A vacation. Also known as a "personal stimulus program."


We need a "Good grief" smiley......  rolleyes.gif

That's a  great site. So glad I've retired.....  whistling.gif
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Neil
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Offline Frances144

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« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2010, 01:54:45 PM »
Read this and weep....

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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2010, 02:56:07 PM »
Before I comment, did you have any input to that document? scram.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Frances144

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« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2010, 05:47:50 PM »
No. I was sent it with a rejection letter when I submitted my DVDs on Shetland for consideration in their tiny shop.

In turn, I nominated it for The Plain English Campaign Golden Bull Award!

Utter, utter drivel but it did make me laugh when I read what I was supposed to be working towards!
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2010, 08:37:08 PM »
QUOTE
The Plain English Campaign Golden Bull Award!
Well said, unlike the...drivel. It reminds me of the "Mission Statements" of so many places. I genuinely hope those things are not still being "created!" And even worse, being distributed to hard working employees. rofl.gif

Sometimes it's best to be 'rejected!' yes.gif
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline kimmer

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« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2010, 02:33:03 AM »
They rejected your Shetland DVDs?!?!?!?!?!

What sort of idiots run that shop?!?!?!?!?!
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Offline krissel

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« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2010, 02:59:40 AM »
My favorite:
QUOTE
•fit the established patterns of spend


laugh.gif

Frances, I think you should be honored that your films weren't accepted by that group.  yes.gif
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Offline Highmac

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« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2010, 03:21:17 AM »
QUOTE(kimmer @ Nov 11 2010, 08:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What sort of idiots run that shop?!?!?!?!?!

Well, they're not complete idiots. Some parts are missing....

(Sometimes the old jokes come good) biggrin.gif

And I agree with Kris!
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Neil
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