Author Topic: Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?  (Read 3707 times)

Offline jepinto

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Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?
« on: August 28, 2003, 10:54:09 AM »
Ole and Sven die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

Ole and Sven reply, "Vell, ya know, we're from nordern Minnesoda, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, ya know."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, hats and mittens.

The devil asks them again, "Its awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"

Again, Ole and Sven reply, "Vell, like we told you yesterday, we're from nordern Minnesoda, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm  up a little bit, ya know."

This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys.  He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Minnesoda and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling walleye and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourself."

The two Minnesodans reply, "Vell, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up dere in International Falls, we've just got to have a fish fry when the weathers this nice."The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight.

Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives.  The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero,icicles are hanging everywhere, people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Minnesodans.  He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?"

Ole and Sven look at the devil in surprise, "Vell, don't ya know, if hell froze over dat must mean da Vikings won da Super Bowl!"
« Last Edit: August 28, 2003, 10:55:18 AM by jepinto »
Do not fear your enemies.  The worse they can do is kill you.  Do not fear friends.  At worst, they may betray you.
Fear those who do not care; they neither kill nor betray, but betrayal and murder exist because of their silent consent.
~Bruno Jasienski~

Offline RNKIII

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« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2003, 12:22:55 PM »
jawdrop.gif  doh.gif I read that to the very end before I saw it coming.....

Never thought about Sven & Ole going to HE**....   Their too nice a guys rolleyes.gif

Thanks for the giggle.... needed that as bad as I need this weekend off.....

Hope all you TS'ers have a safe and happy Labor Day weekend....

Bob K.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to
use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Offline Gregg

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« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2003, 12:28:55 PM »
The version I've heard is a farmer who's a Cubs fan. Maybe his time (and mine) is coming this year!
Ya gotta applaud those bunnies for sacrificing their hearing just so some guy in Cupertino can have better TV reception.

Offline Buck

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« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2003, 05:33:41 AM »
Vell it's good to see the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are no longer the brunt of this one.  clap.gif

Offline RobW

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« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2003, 07:58:06 AM »
QUOTE(Buck @ Aug 29 2003, 6:33 AM)
Vell it's good to see the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are no longer the brunt of this one.  clap.gif

And you can thank my team for that.  verysad.gif  wink.gif BTW, the Eagles-Bucs opener on MNF at  the new stadium in Philly ought to be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, too many people are putting too much stock in how important a game on 9/8/03 will be. I can't imagine that regardless of who wins (please let it be us!!!!!!)smile.gif that the loser will pack it in for the next 15 games.
-Rob
A couple of IMacs, an iPad, a bunch of iPhones...two of which don’t live here, but I still pay for. Oh yeah, wife, daughters, and yes—a grandson!

Offline kelly

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« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2003, 08:38:34 AM »
Yes. I'm ready for some Football. smile.gif
kelly
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Offline RHPConsult

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« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2003, 09:06:43 AM »
Why, of course, Jen. Glad you asked!

All Buckeyes . . . resident, nonresident, transplanted, reconstructed . . . Scarlet and Gray through and through, are ready for 8:15p Saturday when the Huskies come to town to meet the National Champions . . . with the unmatched help of TBDBITL, of course.

Go BUCKS!
« Last Edit: August 29, 2003, 09:08:15 AM by RHPConsult »

Offline dolphin

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« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2003, 10:51:34 AM »
YES, we are ready for some football here in BUCKEYE country. Also hoping my Dolphins do well this year.




GO BUCKS!!!
« Last Edit: August 29, 2003, 11:10:25 AM by dolphin »
"If it aint broke; don't fixit"
Roy

Offline Buck

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« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2003, 11:42:28 AM »
Cops promise to crash OSU tailgate parties
------------------------------------------------------------------------
By CHARLEY GILLESPIE
Associated Press Writer

COLUMBUS
Ohio State fans accustomed to drinking a few beers before kickoff may find their tailgating parties being crashed this fall by police who have grown tired of rioting after games, including last season's home finale against Michigan.

A task force, sponsored by the university and Columbus police, that studied the riots following Ohio State's 14-9 victory over Michigan recommended consistently enforcing underage drinking and open-container laws.

Forty-nine people were arrested as Buckeyes fans celebrating the victory on Nov. 23 lighted more than 100 fires near campus, damaged about 20 cars, broke windows of homes and stores, and pelted firefighters with rocks and debris.

Ohio State police Chief Ron Michalec said illegal pregame drinking has gotten out of hand and the crackdown is the beginning of "a change of culture" for Buckeyes fans.

"It is a radical departure in some ways. It's going to be tough for people to understand what we are trying to do," Michalec said.

Michalec said the crackdown -- which begins Saturday night when Ohio State opens its season against Washington -- means no more tailgating parties with open bars or officers looking the other way.

"In the 13 years I've been here, this has never been attempted," he said. "I know that there has been random sweeps periodically, but nothing that was organized or requested."

Michalec said officers will target areas around Ohio Stadium and St. John Arena and cite offenders for violations including open container, underage possession, disorderly conduct and indecent exposure.

"What we are going to try to do is work on target zones, where we've had most of the problems like the disorderly behavior," Michalec said. "I am not going to be able to tell you we're going to eradicate something; we're going to try to control it."

Michalec said his officers will give non-flagrant violators warnings for the first three games.

"After Game 3, we figure that everybody should pretty much have the routine down," he said.

Michalec said flagrant violators will get their season parking passes revoked.

"Sometimes that has a greater effect than even an appearance down at the Franklin County Municipal Court," he said.

Don't expect to get a warning from the Columbus police.

"The tailgate culture has become a safety issue," spokeswoman Sherry Mercurio said. "After the Michigan game there were intoxicated people urinating in public, assaulting Michigan fans and each other."

Mercurio said officers are expecting to write so many citations that a police substation will be set up near the stadium to process tickets.

Mercurio said it will be easier to curb illegal pregame drinking with campus police and Columbus police writing tickets.

"Now that Ohio State has agreed to partner with us it is much easier to enforce," Mercurio said. "It was difficult for us to dedicate manpower when offenders could walk 10 feet over (to campus) and not get cited."

Extra officers also will be on hand to help tailgaters through what is expected to be a traffic nightmare as at least 100,000 people are expected to fill Ohio Stadium.

The game will be the first since the Lane Avenue bridge over the Olentangy River was closed last fall. Also, campus-area construction has eliminated thousands of key parking spots.

The university is recommending fans arrive 90 minutes before kickoff and much earlier if they have a recreational vehicle.
 police.gif

Offline RHPConsult

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« Reply #9 on: August 29, 2003, 02:43:49 PM »
The most telling comment in that story . . .

QUOTE
Michalec said flagrant violators will get their season parking passes revoked.


Believe, on a Saturday, a parking pass is the most valuable of commodities. I can't help but recall my having received in the mid '50s, accompanying a promotion, a Faculty Park Sitcker, no less, which allowed parking on the campus on football Saturdays. Oh Joy unbounded . . . and that was juuust about 50 years ago!!

 laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif
« Last Edit: August 29, 2003, 02:44:44 PM by RHPConsult »

Offline dolphin

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« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2003, 04:44:16 PM »
I wholeheartedly agree with this tact.  Many of the students at Ohio State and other universities around this GREAT country learned their behavior by emulating what they saw their parents doing. I say it is about time! The shenanigans that go on before and after games is deplorable.


Go BUCKS!!!
"If it aint broke; don't fixit"
Roy

Offline RHPConsult

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« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2003, 10:52:16 PM »
Hey, Dolphin (and other interested observers) . . . how 'bout dem Bucks!

The Ohio State University's National Champions = 28
University of Washington Huskies = 9

Off to a very good start thumbup.gif

Offline sandbox

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« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2003, 01:19:28 AM »
Now RobW, you know who’s going to win right? biggrin.gif

You guys should start looking into holding pingpong tournaments in that new stadium or some other event to pay for it, football just doesn’t seem to be your game. wink.gif

Go Bucs

Offline RobW

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« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2003, 07:25:53 AM »
QUOTE(sandbox @ Aug 31 2003, 2:19 AM)
Now RobW, you know who’s going to win right? biggrin.gif

You guys should start looking into holding pingpong tournaments in that new stadium or some other event to pay for it, football just doesn’t seem to be your game. wink.gif

Go Bucs

Fall off that bike a few times on your recent trip, Sandbox?? rolleyes.gif

Why do I have a hunch we'll be doing this again in January?  whistling.gif
-Rob
A couple of IMacs, an iPad, a bunch of iPhones...two of which don’t live here, but I still pay for. Oh yeah, wife, daughters, and yes—a grandson!

Offline dolphin

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« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2003, 08:57:08 PM »
Dick,
GREAT game...Maurice Hall and Lydell Ross didn't look bad at all. Also, Krenzel looked fantastic...and kept them guessing as usual.
I will be in attendance at the "SHOE" next week for San Diego State.

GO BUCKS!!! thumbup.gif
"If it aint broke; don't fixit"
Roy