Dear Everyone who can photo raccoons
Please stop photographing raccoons and concentrate your efforts on luring one into a pet-carrier. Once you have your raccoon, please attach a small label addressed to myself and enough stamps to send him to Shetland.
I can assure you that your package will be loved and hugged alot. We will also feed him raw eggs, tuna sandwiches and tickle his little fat tum-tum on a regular basis.
Once he answers to the name of George, he will be permitted the run of my estate and will be treated as one of the family. Good table manners should be mentioned at this point because they would, of course, be an advantage when you are considering your choice of whom to lure. I am rather a stickler for manners on the whole.
With kind regards and please wear gloves.
Yours sincerely
Frances
