Best jokes of the year

[kelly]

Hi weldiger.

[weldiger]

Hi Kelly!  & anyone else who reads this.
I've been havin' a ruff time gettin time ter do the thangs I really wants ter.
But thanx gudnes, I ain't a havin ter serve time.

wd

[pendragon]

I typically use the Weldiger system. In addition to the apps he mentioned, Apple's beloved TextEdit will also work. And, it's so easy even >>>you know who<<< can do it.

Harv

[sandbox]

Paste in Appleworks and Highlight, under the Edit Menu, Find/Change enter >

Paste in Outlook Express and Highlight, under Edit Menu, Auto Cleanup, Remove Quotings
.......
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ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE

I CAN BE ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES

And last but not least:

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

[dakota]

That's a heck of a lot of work for one lousy joke!!!!!

[RHPConsult]

Very, very regrettably I note (and I believe accurately) that SpellTools may never make it to X.

At one time it was freeware from a defunct hardware company (whose name escapes me at the moment) then it was reacquired by its author, who repeatedly promised, but did not deliver, updates.

Sad, too, because it had a variety of features and worked flawlessly, in my experience,  from SpellChecking to cleaning internet transmissions.

Something else that works well is TextExpresso. moderately priced shareware that has so many features 1) I can't easily list them all and  2) I've yet to use/exploit them all.

Sometimes it's a tad squrrely, but overall very handy to have around


TextSpresso™ 2.1.1 by Taylor Design.
Copyright © 1998-2002 Taylor Design. All Rights Reserved.
Web: http://www.taylor-design.com/
E-mail: support@taylor-design.com

[Gregg]

>>>>LOL
>>>>great jokes
>>>>made my day
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[jepinto]

I use BBEdit Lite's Find (under the Search menu) to remove unwanted characters.

Find (>>) and Replace ( ), tick the check box "Start at Top" and click Replace All.

Another feature I really, reallly, reaaallly like is "Remove Line Breaks" under the Text menu.  Email tends to break messages up at stranger intervals than the board software, so it helps to not have all those strange breaks on the board.

Copy the email message, paste into a new BBEL window, do the Find, then do the Remove and clean message!