Author Topic: OT. Consultant.  (Read 1515 times)

Offline jb

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OT. Consultant.
« on: April 27, 2003, 08:17:00 AM »
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet, where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response.

Finally, he prints out a 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."

"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and
bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not." answered the young man.

"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
that?"

"No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business. Now give me back my dog."

jb
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Offline RNKIII

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« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2003, 08:25:00 AM »
Amen, Amen, Amen...

               

Great, JB, just great,,

BobK.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to
use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Offline krissel

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OT. Consultant.
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2003, 09:36:00 PM »
Hope RHP doesn't see this.


A Techsurvivors founder

Offline RHPConsult

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« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2003, 12:14:00 AM »
He has!

He did! Years and years ago!

Here's a  better one.

A far better one, given that it persuasively testifies to the prudence, ingenuity, insight and general all-round brilliance of consultants.

To wit:

Two consultants went into a diner and ordered drinks. Then, producing sandwiches from their briefcases, they started to eat. The owner, becoming quite concerned, marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"

The consultants looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.