OT: BEWARE..what happened to me last night

[kps]

Time to 'de-magnetize' and definitely tape your best "groups" from the firing range on that winda.    

Not that I'm making 'lite' of your situation or those previous incidents, but it sound like to me, that you know how to handle yourself...and those jerks.    <insert Thumbs Up Smily>

[krissel]

Thanks guys.

It's times like these that I really miss my brother.

You all are a big help. I mean it.

[Mayo]

I want to say how glad I am that nothing serious happened and that you handled yourself admirably considering the circumstances.

I am also moved to to say that in my soon-to-be 49 years on the planet I have never seen a good decision made out of fear.  Not once, ever.  And I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth; I have experienced things that no person should have to go through.  But I think that each one of us is capable of deciding how we will deal with these kind of experiences-in essence, whether we will be perpetual victims or be made stronger by the sometimes harsh realities of being alive.

There have been some caring suggestions made that would add much to your security and that would likely not take a large mental and financial toll. But some other suggestions made in this thread could have very serious repercussions for you and other people in your life.

Yes, bad things happen to people.  And through the power of the world-wide media and the connectiveness of the Internet, we can share in all these bad experiences whenever we want.  But for every act of cruelty that happened today I propose that there were a million acts of kindness that we will likely never hear about.

But most of us will choose to focus on the former, much to the detriment of us all.  I live in one of the richest, certainly the most militarily-powerful country on the planet, and most of us are scared out of our wits.  We are armed to the teeth, keeping an eye on everything and everybody, and things aren't getting better, apparently...

And yet...most of us have lives unmarked by crime, particularly the kinds of crime that make it into the news.

Some of the most fearful people I know are the most heavily armed; 99% of the gun-toting people I have known own a gun out of fear, period.  Don't let 'em tell you different.  I've been around guns all my life, and people who use them.

Unfortunately, these guns are much more likely to be used against a family member, discovered by a child (with tragic consequences) or stolen and used in a crime against someone else. A teeny, tiny fraction of a percent of them will actually wind up "protecting" anybody.

The least fearful and most capable men I have known either don't even own a gun or if they do, it isn't out of a misguided idea that a gun is what keeps them safe.  And should someone think that these guys are some kind of "wimpy"
types..I'm speaking of ex-Special Forces folks, people who know first-hand what a gun can do.  I am truly thankful that I have known people that showed me what it really means to be a man, as well as a human being.

I have also known equally-capable women who experience full lives without the fear that limits many people, women who by virtue of their work or leisure activities place themselves in situations that might be deemed hazardous by most folks.

If I were in your shoes I would do whatever makes you feel good again.  None of us here can say what that will be for you. You can feel safe again, hopefully even in the same house where you apparently lived without incident for many years and likely will for many more.  Whatever you decide, I am certain that you can live without fear and that this incident will not come to rule your life.

Speaking strictly for me, I would not tell a bunch of people about this kind of thing.  Everyone will try to share in your pain out of good intentions, but most will tell you of other bad things that happened to people they know, or read about, or saw on TV. We all have these stories available to us, and while it may seem comforting, my experience is that it really makes things worse in the long run.

If you have someone that can help you process this experience without adding to your fear, then you are a very fortunate person.  If you have to hire someone, it may be worth every penny.  Or you may be the kind of person who can put things behind them and move on, limiting the negative effects.  I realize that this is a minority view, but I don't view anything as "support" that perpetuates a feeling of being a victim or encourages the reliving of a traumatic experience.

In the end, it all comes down to what we choose to focus on in life.  We can become victims of our bad experiences and view the world and others with fear and suspicion, or we can see the other, usually more prevalent side of life...the myriad people and experiences that make life worth living.
 
 [ 05-09-2003, 03:40 AM: Message edited by: Mayo ]

[RogerF]

If you decide to use video, DON'T hide it. Make the cameras a large and spotlight them, whether they are real or not.

Interestingly. the LAPD designated an 6 block area in the Valley as an ongoing drug/violence problem site. They mounted very visable video camera units and plastered signs announcing this. The drug dealing and reports of violence dropped over 90% within 60 days.

Of course they never told them the cameras were connected to nothing; in fact there was no camera equipment inside the camera box.

An ounce of prevention.............

[Highmac]

What can I say that hasn't been said, Kris. All my sympathy. Hope when they catch him, the authorities are tougher on him than they probably would be here....
We have a farmer, who had been burgled several times, in jail for manslaughter (the murder verdict was changed on appeal) for using his Winchester pump-action shotgun on two men who were raiding his house. His parole applications keep getting turned down because they "consider him a danger to any future burglars" because he won't promise he wouldn't do it again.                But at least the surviving burglar's claim for compensation for his injuries was thrown out!
Sometimes I think the person who said "the law is an ass" was being unfair to asses.
You're obviously a tough cookie - thank goodness for that!

Take care
Highmac
 
 [ 05-09-2003, 06:02 AM: Message edited by: Highmac ]

[beacher]

Hey Kris, I'm so sorry that you were subject to that kind of crap, and glad to hear that you are not defenseless.  Keep in mind that there are many more of "Us" than there are of "Them", and maybe it will help you to regain your usual cheery self.  I don't remember who said it, but somewhere along the line, I've heard the quote, "Don't let the bastards get you down. . ."

[Gary S]

Krissel,

Just checking in to see how things are going.

The one thing that I keep thinking about is the "Aluminum stepladder". It makes me think it may be someone local but.....who knows.

I just can't imagine someone running around at 2:00 in the morning with a stepladder under their arm!

I'm just glad you are alright. Keep the faith!

[LR827]

Krissy, I know you are not paranoid.  I was just thinking more about this, because I had a number of such experiences in the past -- but none since I've been married (21 years).  It is pretty likely that stalkers prefer women with no guy around.

Okay, I'm not going to tell you to get married, since you won't even consider the lesser step of moving.  But an amusing memory surfaced, and I'm wondering if it is not really a good idea, even though it sounds like a joke.

Somewhere in the past I recall reading about a "Jack" doll when there were a rash of car-jackings in the news.  Women could blow up this manniken and put him in the passenger seat to make themselves less attractive to carjackers.  Maybe you could put something like that -- even a cardboard cutout that cast a shadow on your curtains, to thwart peeping Toms & others.

I just want you to be safe.  I recall getting very scary obscene phone calls when I lived in Houston, and was assigned the former telephone number of a woman whose name was listed in the phone book.  I know that because they would start with, "Hi, Stella, I want to..." etc.

When I moved to Galveston, there were new phone calls, not to "Stella" anymore, but a "breather."  I bought a police whistle, and the first time he called again, I took as deep a breath as I could & let out a whistle into the phone that even left my ears ringing.  Never heard from him again.

Just take care of yourself, okay?

[dolphin]

Kris....so glad you are safe.  The lights are a good idea, and as you and others have said...motion detector lights come on from most any kind of movement. The heat sensor type sound good. I have a dusk to dawn sensor on mine over my garage and when it burns out it is so dark I can't stand it...so I change the bulb immediately.

When I first married my ex...we lived near Miami, Fl. We lived in a small apartment complex and had just bought a dog. The dog was acting funny one night and I went to the kitchen window and a guy took off running just as I came into view. Scared the bejeezus out of me. This incident also made me more cautious and slightly paranoid. However; I like you would not let outside forces control my life so I just take extra precautions.

Again, so glad you are OK!  Take care!!!
 
 [ 05-09-2003, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: dolphin ]

[Gregg]

Don't let this one out, but for telephone stalkers, the phone company recommends holding the # and * keys down together for a couple of seconds. This "plays" a very loud, high-pitched noise in the ear of the caller. Then you say, "Operator, this is the call I want traced." Just wait, the caller most likely will then hang up. Of course, it's a hoax, but it has worked for our household.

end of classified message
(I really need a graemlin with side to side eye movement here)

[Bill]

Krissel.
I have been reading/rereading this thread (especially your first post) many times.

At first I was going to point out that material items are just that 'material' -replaceable- whether they mean more to you than anyone else still replaceable but it's evident that this isn't the issue at all.
What you went through hits more to home.

So, like others have already stated [and you've replied] protect yourself by whatever means is at your disposal including firearms considering your description of where you live.
Lights,alarms,protective animals etc have been mentioned.
You might want to think (which I'm sure you have already) about changing your daily routine around.Mix it up some.

I know this sounds/reads like I'm trying to scare you. In a way that's my point.
The local police are going to do their jobs naturally yet they can not be at your door step 24/7.
As you've already pointed out moving isn't going to cut it.
Besides (((WHY))) would you want to make such a drastic change? It doesn't make sense in my mind.

I could tell a few stories like SB has on what I've gone through but my situation isn't the same as yours just like anyone else's isn't the same as yours.

~~~ toss in a little humor ~~~
Can you imagine someone taking pics of me on an indoor exercise walking thingie?
They'd either croak from puking Johnny-on-the-spot or laugh themselves silly too the local looney home .    
~~~ end of .... errr .... humor ~~~

Did a quick edit after rereading Mayos' post again.
He wrote much of what I was going to only a WHOLE lot better.

[krissel]

UPDATE:

First I want to again thank those of you who have taken time to offer me advice and encouragement. I really feel honored that so many people care about yours truly. It goes a long way to emphasize what Mayo and beacher noted, that these creeps are few and far between and the vast majority are good, kind people.
A visit to TS will prove that everyday.

I am happy to report that a detective came by today (twice) to follow up on the case. He walked though the whole thing with me again, asking about neighbors, etc, taking pictures, scoping out the paths in the woods. Nice guy. He said the suspicious car that night did belong to someone on the back street but what he was doing driving away at that hour is yet to be determined.

He also said that there had been "this type of problem" at the other end of town (19 + square miles) a while back. However the guy they had been watching as a suspect has apparently moved to my end of town. He didn't give me any kind of time frame though as to when. I didn't mention in my earlier posts that I had a "prowler" type incident a year ago when I heard a noise and found an ice chipper had been moved off my porch into the garden late at night (the window in the door was not covered at the time). I did report that to the police then but kind of brushed it off as maybe a kid fooling around so I didn't take it for more than that and neither did they. I now think it may have been this same person. It's entirely possible he's been out there for the better part of a year or more.
One of my neighbors laughingly said they would be looking for pictures of me on the web.
     Lordy, what a bore that would be.

AS to the heartfelt and much appreciated suggestions and warnings. I have taken them all seriously and do not reject any out of hand. I do think I am one of those people who can put these things in a drawer and deal with them as sensibly as possible. Yes, at times the emotional aspect of these kinds of events will emerge and a good cry or swearing at the invisible offender will release the tension. You might also know that the very action of my conversing on TS in this form is very comforting and brings a release and sense of control. So bear with me.

In fact, I spoke with the detective today about whether I should tell everyone and "advertise" what happened here. He said that is just the thing that I should do to make it that much more difficult for the guy to do it again. The more people who know he exists the better the chance of him slipping up and getting caught or feeling afraid  to try anything more. Indeed, I may not be his only target and I would feel terrible if I kept quiet and someone else was made to undergo this experience or worse.
I am actually thinking of contacting the area paper to tell them about this, as long as they keep my identity and location secret. They have had such articles in the past and are very effective.

As to the weapon issue, I was once very anti-gun until I lay in bed one night many years ago hearing noises and realizing that by the time the police would arrive I'd be dead. Unfortunately I am more than aware of what a gun can do, I don't take it lightly.
I had the "could I shoot someone" discussion today and mentioned that I couldn't shoot a defenseless animal,  but a person who has made a conscious choice to put themselves into an illegal and threatening position is another story. I taught for 32 years that you take responsibility for your decisions and actions. When you break the law and put someone else in danger you suffer the consequences. I've been to a seminar on NJ law and homeowners' rights to defense and am aware of what can and can't be done without repercussions. But in the end, I'd rather face a judge and jury than the undertaker.

Lorraine, I do have a life size cardboard cutout of one of the Star Trek characters someone once gave me as a joke. Now if he could only move.
And as to getting married, can you say, "frying pan into fire"?
   

Oh, Bill, that image you conjured up in my mind of you exercising is one that will be as hard to erase as the guy at the window.

 
 
 [ 05-09-2003, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: krissel ]

[Gary S]

I'm glad to here the progress report. It seems you have a concerned Police Department which makes finding the guy or preventing another episode easier.

I used the newspaper about my thefts, without using my name and address. I think it may be a good idea.

They just caught a thief in my town the other day because of newspaper reports and
good detective work on the part of the police.

Way to go!

[sharbe]

Hey there.......I won't wait for dinner to respond to your story.   Wow!  How violated you must feel.  Kinda creepy after our last conversation at CB's.  Sounds like you have prepared yourself for most situations....and covering that window, although not as lovely as the view, will give you a bit more privacy at night when those lights are on.   I bet your suspicions are right about the neighbor.  (At least that's how it works on TV!)

See you soon.