Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 468096 times)

Offline kimmer

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We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #705 on: February 24, 2011, 01:05:21 PM »
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome - one has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David .
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don 't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite."

The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said:
"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing.

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #706 on: February 24, 2011, 03:26:17 PM »
Very good! Amazingly so, for a woman! eek2.gif scram.gif
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline kimmer

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« Reply #707 on: February 24, 2011, 07:19:45 PM »
QUOTE(Xairbusdriver @ Feb 24 2011, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Very good! Amazingly so, for a woman! eek2.gif scram.gif


Offline Jack W

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« Reply #708 on: February 25, 2011, 08:18:17 AM »
QUOTE(kimmer @ Feb 24 2011, 08:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE(Xairbusdriver @ Feb 24 2011, 01:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Very good! Amazingly so, for a woman! eek2.gif scram.gif



Kimmer,

I liked your response!

Jack
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Offline Highmac

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« Reply #709 on: February 26, 2011, 01:49:12 AM »
While not making light of the situation in the Middle East, this little clip from a news bulletin, about the Royal Navy helping evacuate people fleeing Libya, made me smile. And there's just a chance someone might recognise the American.... Link to video - 5.3MB, m4v
Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #710 on: February 26, 2011, 01:27:18 PM »
At first I thought he was talking about the Maria Dolores ferry, but that ship carries the flag of Malta. He may be talking about the HMS York? dntknw.gif Wouldn't surprise me to hear about some Yank miss-identifying the flag of any country, however... wallbash.gif

The vast majority of foreigners in Libya are Chinese, of course. Evacuating those thousands or people requires slightly more than a ferry or two. Also read that a Canadian aircraft and crew left with no evacuees since they couldn't find any Canadians trying to leave. Not sure if it was actually a Canadian aircraft or just Canadian chartered.
« Last Edit: February 26, 2011, 01:31:34 PM by Xairbusdriver »
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Highmac

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« Reply #711 on: February 26, 2011, 02:38:02 PM »
Haven't got the rest of the clip on the MBP but I'm pretty sure it was HMS Cumberland at Benghazi. I'll check tomorrow smile.gif
Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #712 on: March 02, 2011, 12:34:46 PM »
It's not often we get humor from such lofty sources but I had to smile when watching an analysis of the US Supreme Court's 'privacy' ruling yesterday. In short, AT&T was trying to claim that it, a corporation, was allowed to use "personal privacy rights" to prevent access info provided to government agencies in investigative procedures. Here's the some of the text of Marcia Coyle's (from The National Law Journal) explanation of Chief Justice Roberts opinion:{emphasis added by the poster}
QUOTE
when we talk in common language about personal privacy, personal correspondence, personal interest, personal influence, we're really not talking about corporations. We're talking about human beings.

And personal privacy, he said, evokes human concerns, not entities' concerns like AT&T. And he had a kicker to his decision, sort of clever...

...we trust that AT&T will not take it personally.
My opinion? "Corporations" are not as important as "humans." salute.gif
« Last Edit: March 02, 2011, 12:36:38 PM by Xairbusdriver »
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Highmac

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« Reply #713 on: March 09, 2011, 04:10:53 AM »
Someone sent me a link to this BBC America promo (YouTube link) for the UK version of the Law & Order series (Law & Order UK) show.

It explains how the system and the show work and includes a glossary of our slang terms, most of which are correct. However, they've got their vowels in a twist with "knackers = pants"

In fact it's "knickers" = women's underpants biggrin.gif

Let's just say that men find being kicked in the "knackers" extremely painful....

Ah, the British art of self-deprecation - it's one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time!
« Last Edit: March 09, 2011, 04:40:58 AM by Highmac »
Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #714 on: March 09, 2011, 09:39:53 AM »
I've watched the UK version a couple of times. I especially enjoy seeing the female barristers wearing wigs! rofl.gif "Traditions!?" Unfortunately, it still doesn't make me trust/respect all lawyers! Thoughts of "wolves in sheep's clothing," "lipstick on a pig," etc. keep flooding my mind... blush-anim-cl.gif

"Law & Order" is a very old program and has been on a steady decline in quality as it descends into more and more gore and abased behaviors of the criminal mind. And the formulaic beginnings are usually the most entertaining parts. How will the usually mutilated body be found in the first 120 seconds of the show? rolleyes.gif

As for the "explanations" you complain about, "don't get your panties in a wad!" laughhard.gif
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #715 on: March 09, 2011, 04:16:03 PM »
Have you ever visited a site that required you to type in a word or two that were presented in a barely readable manner on-screen. Those are attempts to keep everything except humans (and well-trained cats) out of a site. One such service is call reCAPTCHA (actually a registered trademark for the Google operated service). However, the words presented are sometimes used by those with too much time available (present company excluded, of course) to create whole humorous fantasy worlds! I found this one particularly amusing. wacko.gif
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #716 on: March 10, 2011, 06:27:32 PM »
Just in time for the first of next month!
[attachment=2158:System_P...Snapz001.jpg]
Just press command-option before clicking the Display icon in System Preferences. Groaner.gif
« Last Edit: March 11, 2011, 09:37:47 AM by Xairbusdriver »
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline krissel

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« Reply #717 on: March 11, 2011, 12:40:24 AM »
huh.gif

Doesn't do anything for me.


A Techsurvivors founder

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #718 on: March 11, 2011, 09:43:05 AM »
You must have the Command and the option keys pressed before clicking the icon. And don't call up the screen by requesting the Display prefs with any other app/method. I use MaxMenus to display all the System Prefs in a single menu (top-roght corner). If I select the Display pref that way, the command-option won't work because the pref is already visible. It must be selected from then normal, System Preferences panel.

OR


You're
spending
too
much
time
on
Rock,
Paper,
Scissors...
rolleyes.gif
« Last Edit: March 11, 2011, 09:43:49 AM by Xairbusdriver »
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Jack W

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« Reply #719 on: March 11, 2011, 01:04:20 PM »
Doesn't do diddly for me either.
Good to be Here.

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(2) External HD - Firewire/USB Macally Enclosures  with 1TB Hitachi Drives,
Time Machine external drive - ditto above - 1/2 TimeMac