Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 468104 times)

Offline gunug

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We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #750 on: September 27, 2011, 10:45:35 AM »
For pure humor you can't beat this Youtube video of William Shatner in the process of recording "Iron Man" for his new CD:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICbc8DpcX3w...eature=youtu.be

We were breaking up here in the shop!
"If there really is no beer in heaven then maybe at least the
computers will work all of the time!"

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #751 on: September 27, 2011, 02:24:24 PM »
Please, no more links to anything like that, gunug! Not that I can I'm age there being too many, anyway.
And this had been such a beautiful day... rolleyes.gif
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
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And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Paddy

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« Reply #752 on: October 05, 2011, 12:18:55 PM »


Dyslexics of the world, untie! biggrin.gif
"If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in." ~Author unknown •iMac 5K, 27" 3.6Ghz i9 (2019) • 16" M1 MBP(2021) • 9.7" iPad Pro • iPhone 13

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #753 on: October 05, 2011, 03:35:23 PM »
But this will work! We just need a second rule to specify which group (the climbers or the descenders) has to walk backwards. Simple! Don't be so quick to judge! That may very well explain why people were running into each other in the first place!! yes.gif inspect.gif tongue.gif tomato.gif scram.gif
« Last Edit: October 05, 2011, 03:37:33 PM by Xairbusdriver »
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #754 on: October 05, 2011, 03:40:35 PM »
Got this list from a friend (original source unknown):
    Random Acts of Thinking

    I want to become a vegetarian, but I'm not sure I can quit eating meat cold turkey.

    I wear glasses. Doesn't that mean that *everything* I see is an optical illusion?

    I paid my psychiatrist with a reality check.

    Do fishermen live in the reel world?

    You want to know a really, really hugely annoyingly bad habit? Over-exaggeration.

    I may not be a great artist, but I am really good at drawing a blank.

    My wife and I love each other. I rub her back and she massages my ego.

    When he who lives in a glass house invites he who is without sin for dinner, bad things can happen.

    You can't stop progress, but you can unplug a good chunk of it.

    A chrysanthemum by any other name ... would be easier to spell.

    Some days the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.

    My life no longer needs an extreme makeover. Now it just needs a complete do over.

    A friend of mine has a nose ring. She keeps the volume pretty low, though, and sets it to "vibrate" at the movies.

    I'm not too handy with tools. I once got my finger caught in a screwdriver.

    Yesterday I pushed my luck. It was clearly too weak to move by itself.
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Texas Mac Man

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« Reply #755 on: October 10, 2011, 04:04:45 PM »
A Police officer approached a blond female motorist stopped in the middle of the road before the river overpass holding up traffic. The officer noticed the driver jotting on a notebook frantically. He asked the driver, "What in the world are you doing?" The blond replied, "The sign says Draw Bridge".
Cheers, Tom

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Offline kimmer

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« Reply #756 on: October 10, 2011, 06:31:27 PM »
QUOTE(Texas Mac Man @ Oct 10 2011, 02:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A Police officer approached a blond female motorist....

 Groaner.gif

Offline jchuzi

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« Reply #757 on: October 10, 2011, 07:09:13 PM »
Two blonds decided to go hunting. As they were driving, they saw a sign that said, "Bear Left". So, they turned around and went home.
Jon

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Offline kimmer

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« Reply #758 on: October 10, 2011, 09:19:14 PM »
QUOTE(jchuzi @ Oct 10 2011, 05:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Two blonds decided to go hunting....

Double Groaner.gif

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #759 on: October 11, 2011, 08:25:36 AM »
QUOTE
Two blonds...
The biggest reason for the increasing sales of hair coloring?! laughhard.gif
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Paddy

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« Reply #760 on: October 13, 2011, 01:38:36 PM »
With echoes of a certain Cheese Shop skit, "My Blackberry is not Working" (and no, this didn't appear this week - it's been on YouTube since December 2010!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAG39jKi0lI
"If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in." ~Author unknown •iMac 5K, 27" 3.6Ghz i9 (2019) • 16" M1 MBP(2021) • 9.7" iPad Pro • iPhone 13

Offline Highmac

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« Reply #761 on: October 14, 2011, 06:00:46 AM »
Found this on another forum - if it's already here.... well, it's still funny!

QUOTE
The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart:
                                                                           
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.                                      
Canadians plant gardens.                                              
                                                                         
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)                                                  
Italian cars won't start                                                
Canadians drive with the windows down and still wear shorts and T-shirts.                                  
                                                                           
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)                                                      
American water freezes                                                  
Canadians have the last cookout of the season                                            
                                                                         
0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)                                                  
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.                      
Canadian Girl Guides still sell cookies door-to-door.                          
                                                                         
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)                                            
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.                                    
Canadians pull down their earflaps.                
                                                                           
-109.9 Fahrenheit (-78.5 C)                                              
Carbon dioxide freezes; makes dry ice.                                  
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
                                                                           
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)                                                
Ethyl alcohol freezes.                                                  
Canadians get a day off work to go tobogganing.              
                                                                           
-459.67 Fahrenheit (-273.15 C)                                          
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.                                
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"
                                                                           
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)                                                
Hell freezes over.                              
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup


In turn it reminded me of this little ditty from The Weavers back in the 60s.

The BlackBerry sketch was based on this 1976 one from The Two Ronnies (Corbett and Barker). Corbett decided to play the customer this time. From memory it was from a tribute show dedicated to the late Ronnie Barker
« Last Edit: October 14, 2011, 06:02:18 AM by Highmac »
Neil
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Offline kimmer

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« Reply #762 on: October 19, 2011, 08:35:27 PM »
A blonde teenage girl, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

'Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said. 'How much will you charge me?'

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, 'How about $50?'

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, 'Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?'

He responded, 'That's a bit cynical, isn't it?'

The wife replied, 'You're right.... I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes'.

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

'You're finished already?' the startled husband asked.

'Yes,' the blonde replied, 'and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats'.

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

'And by the way,' the blonde added, 'It's not a Porch. It's a Lexus'.

Offline Xairbusdriver

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« Reply #763 on: October 20, 2011, 05:04:18 PM »
I'm reading a 'design' book (hoping to learn something that might provide some skills I'm severely lacking) and the author mentions several sites that explain a concept being used. This one is not only entertaining but shows an amazing grasp of what makes people want to come back to a site! It's a surprising bit of 'humanity' not usually associated with the 'technology' of the web.
<photojojo.com>
[attachment=2348:DO_NOT_PULL.jpg]
WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT PULL THIS LEVER!!!
nono.gif
laughhard.gif
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Texas Mac Man

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« Reply #764 on: October 20, 2011, 07:35:47 PM »
The next time you're bored and have nothing better to do, go to a pubic place, get out your cell phone, don't turn it on, but speak into it like the guy in this video.  http://tinyurl.com/638ykqf

This is funny!!!!!!!!!!!! thumbup.gif
Cheers, Tom

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