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Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 468020 times)

Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1590 on: December 25, 2021, 08:00:57 AM »
OK - let the groaning begin... continue...  :D


How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook.


What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!


What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper!
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Neil
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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1591 on: December 25, 2021, 11:23:16 AM »
Since the above window looks rather lonely, here's another offering:



In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

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Neil
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Offline krissel

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1592 on: December 25, 2021, 10:04:06 PM »
 :doh:
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A Techsurvivors founder

Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1593 on: December 26, 2021, 11:35:19 AM »
Then there's this one:


All my Christmas decorations are inflatable - that's why I'm Forever Blowing Baubles...  :toothgrin:
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Neil
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Online jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1594 on: January 05, 2022, 09:54:15 AM »
Some people say that Elvis is dead, others say that he is alive. The truth probably lies somewhere in between.
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Jon

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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1595 on: January 05, 2022, 10:38:30 AM »
Quote
All my Christmas decorations are inflatable
The 'humorous' thing about these 'decorations' is that these things are normally not inflated in the day time. Instead, some yards look like disaster scenes with dead bodies every where! :blink: :blueeek: :eek: :wacko:
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Online jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1596 on: January 06, 2022, 01:16:33 PM »
If you remember freshman Chemistry:

Willie was a chemist.
Willie is no more.
What Willie took for H2O
Was H2SO4.
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Jon

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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1597 on: January 09, 2022, 07:16:01 AM »
Bet you thought the holiday season was over....



I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon this week.
I’ll let you know…


Caller: My wife’s in labour and I don’t know what to do.
Operator: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, it’s her husband...




 :whoosh:       :whoosh:   
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Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1598 on: January 09, 2022, 09:32:02 AM »
 :whoosh: Is correct!! My wife's first husband had to think about that first one! :blush-anim-cl:
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1599 on: January 10, 2022, 11:26:48 AM »
Quote from: Xairbusdriver on January 09, 2022, 09:32:02 AM
:whoosh: Is correct!! My wife's first husband had to think about that first one! :blush-anim-cl:


Well, I had to think about THAT one  :doh:
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Neil
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Online jchuzi

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1600 on: January 10, 2022, 12:47:56 PM »
Some marital advice to husbands:

When your wife says, "Do whatever you want.", DO NOT DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. REPEAT: DO NOT DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. Don't move. Play dead.
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Jon

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Offline Highmac

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1601 on: January 10, 2022, 02:04:48 PM »
You mean you’ve only just found that out?   :clap:
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Neil
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Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1602 on: January 24, 2022, 09:27:41 AM »
Speaking of groans...
"Simone Biles has a rival — but it can't stick the landing!"
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1603 on: January 31, 2022, 02:58:37 PM »
I'm assuming Kriss, Chrisand Paddy will be getting another round of that white stuff. Hopefully, none of you will suffer from flat tires!
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Xairbusdriver

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Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1604 on: February 01, 2022, 11:01:26 AM »
"why did the chicken cross the road"
Quote
This chicken was caught sneaking around the security area at the Pentagon (we're not kidding) and our officers picked her up. Now we need a name for her - suggestions welcomed!
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THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:
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