« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 91 92 [93] 94 95 ... 112   Go Down

Author Topic: We need some Humor!!!  (Read 468009 times)

Offline Highmac

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 5455
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1380 on: December 12, 2019, 01:41:02 PM »
Quote
The definition of knowing what a woman really wants: “It’s like trying to figure out what colour the letter seven smells like."
Logged
Neil
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.

Offline Xairbusdriver

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 26388
  • 27" iMac (mid-17), Big Sur, Mac mini, Catalina
    • View Profile
    • Mid-South Weather
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1381 on: December 12, 2019, 02:50:59 PM »
That's easy: (baked) Mauve!
Logged
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 3094
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1382 on: December 12, 2019, 03:30:19 PM »
I may have been the only 5-year-old to have been expelled from kindergarten on the very first day.

My mother would sometimes curse, and then she would say, "Excuse my French." On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher asked, "Does anyone know any French words?"
Logged
Jon

macOS 11.7.10, iMac Retina 5K 27-inch, late 2014, 3.5 GHz Intel Core i5, 1 TB fusion drive, 16 GB RAM, Epson SureColor P700, Photoshop CC, Lightroom CC, MS Office 365

Offline Xairbusdriver

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 26388
  • 27" iMac (mid-17), Big Sur, Mac mini, Catalina
    • View Profile
    • Mid-South Weather
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1383 on: December 12, 2019, 04:46:54 PM »
Quote
the teacher asked, "Does anyone know any French words?"
Were you in my kindergarten? We actually learned French words for various things in a doll house! The first word of the previous sentence is the only French word I remember... OTOH, I think it's great that I can even remember attending kindergarten! :yahoo:
Logged
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jwboyd

  • Super Duper Poster
  • ****
  • Posts: 912
    • View Profile
    • http://
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1384 on: December 12, 2019, 07:10:56 PM »
Oui! Good one, Jim.
Logged
I'm not a complete idiot -- a few parts are missing!

Offline Highmac

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 5455
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1385 on: February 04, 2020, 03:32:17 AM »
Time we resurrected this thread....


Just found the Windows Waltz on YouTube. Of course, I was looking for something completely different at the time - what did you expect? :D


Have to admit I had never heard of Rainer Hersch, but seems he has been around for quite a while creating music and laughter.



Logged
Neil
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.

Offline Xairbusdriver

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 26388
  • 27" iMac (mid-17), Big Sur, Mac mini, Catalina
    • View Profile
    • Mid-South Weather
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1386 on: February 17, 2020, 09:09:43 AM »
Logged
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 3094
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1387 on: February 17, 2020, 09:42:15 AM »
And, in an all-too-accurate quip, the two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
Logged
Jon

macOS 11.7.10, iMac Retina 5K 27-inch, late 2014, 3.5 GHz Intel Core i5, 1 TB fusion drive, 16 GB RAM, Epson SureColor P700, Photoshop CC, Lightroom CC, MS Office 365

Offline jchuzi

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 3094
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1388 on: March 17, 2020, 02:30:41 PM »
To mark the 250th anniversary of Beethoven's birth:

A tourist passed by Beethoven's grave and heard scratching sounds. Becoming alarmed, she notified the authorities, who dug into the ground to reveal Beethoven erasing whole sections of his fifth symphony. When someone asked what he was doing, he replied, "decomposing".
Logged
Jon

macOS 11.7.10, iMac Retina 5K 27-inch, late 2014, 3.5 GHz Intel Core i5, 1 TB fusion drive, 16 GB RAM, Epson SureColor P700, Photoshop CC, Lightroom CC, MS Office 365

Offline Xairbusdriver

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 26388
  • 27" iMac (mid-17), Big Sur, Mac mini, Catalina
    • View Profile
    • Mid-South Weather
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1389 on: March 17, 2020, 02:37:27 PM »
NEW SYMPTOM OF COVID-19 REVEALED: Un-constrained urge to write puns!! Protect yourself at all times! Please avoid reading forums with fewer than 10 people on-line at the same time! Sometimes these folks can be spotted by a red "NEW" badge near their post.
:eek: :inspect: :wacko:
Logged
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline jchuzi

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 3094
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1390 on: March 17, 2020, 05:05:45 PM »
And for those who are infected, there is a special cocktail. You pour it and drink it alone. It's called Quarantini.
Logged
Jon

macOS 11.7.10, iMac Retina 5K 27-inch, late 2014, 3.5 GHz Intel Core i5, 1 TB fusion drive, 16 GB RAM, Epson SureColor P700, Photoshop CC, Lightroom CC, MS Office 365

Offline Xairbusdriver

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 26388
  • 27" iMac (mid-17), Big Sur, Mac mini, Catalina
    • View Profile
    • Mid-South Weather
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1391 on: March 18, 2020, 02:16:52 PM »
’Sposed to reach almost 80 (26.6°C) tomorrow!! :sweatingbullets: Many of the six-legged bugs are waking up already! SWMBO called me to take care of a “problem” this morning; a wasp had been spotted inside the house!! Fortunately, we are prepared for such invasions! :yes:

Judy insisted on these shutters when we built the house. I’m thinking we might also want to put windows in these openings, also. :dntknw: :coolio: Might mke it harder for wasps and other creatures to 'visit'. :Thinking:
Logged
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Highmac

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 5455
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1392 on: March 19, 2020, 12:54:38 PM »
Just found this bit of news....



Apparently Greece is running out of hummus and taramasolata due to stock piling.
Economists are predicting a double dip recession.

Logged
Neil
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.

Offline Xairbusdriver

  • Administrator
  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 26388
  • 27" iMac (mid-17), Big Sur, Mac mini, Catalina
    • View Profile
    • Mid-South Weather
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1393 on: March 19, 2020, 01:12:45 PM »
Neil, I think you are already in your house, now, go to your room!!! :nono:
Logged
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COUNTRIES
Those that use metric = #1 Measurement system
And the United States = The Banana system
CAUTION! Childhood vaccinations cause adults! :yes:

Offline Jack W

  • TS Addict
  • *****
  • Posts: 2597
    • View Profile
Re: We need some Humor!!!
« Reply #1394 on: March 20, 2020, 07:59:37 AM »
Coronovirus:

"Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening because I didn't forward that message to 10 other people."

"Like a good neighbor, stay over there."

"Day 2 without sports. Found a lady sitting on my couch. Apparently she's my wife. Seems nice."

Above courtesy Bob Dyer, Akron Beacon Journal, from Facebook pages.

Jack
Logged
Good to be Here.

My Macs: 2010 27" alum iMac 2.8GHz, Snow Leopard 10.6.8/Mavericks 10.9.5, 4GB SDRAM (Workhorse),
13” Late 2010 MacBook Pro 2.4GHz, 10.6.8, 2GB SDRAM,
(2) External HD - Firewire/USB Macally Enclosures  with 1TB Hitachi Drives,
Time Machine external drive - ditto above - 1/2 TimeMac
Pages: 1 ... 91 92 [93] 94 95 ... 112   Go Up
« previous next »