Author Topic: We need some Humor!!! (Read 468106 times)

RNKIII · « **Reply #855 on:** February 01, 2014, 10:19:14 AM »

Remember, ABD, fruit flies, bananas don't...

Bob K. rnkiii

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #856 on:** February 06, 2014, 04:05:38 PM »

Meanwhile, in Canada...

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #857 on:** February 07, 2014, 10:47:44 AM »

Proof that nothing newsworthy has happened in the last 'news cycle'?

<Dogs Do Their Doodies And Salmon Swim Home Magnetically>

krissel · « **Reply #858 on:** February 07, 2014, 10:25:32 PM »

Jim, all that must explain your "magnetic personality".

Highmac · « **Reply #859 on:** February 08, 2014, 04:12:26 AM »

And some great comments - Elvis, Bugs Bunny...

Got the distinct impression some people don't take scientific research nearly seriously enough

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #860 on:** February 08, 2014, 09:43:25 AM »

I take it all very seriously! Well, except for some of the video we are shown. I'm still sure that "Moon walk" was actually done on a TV stage somewhere.

I mean, if you watched Walt Disney back in the '60's you know they can make almost anything look real! Then there was the movie, "2001"! Where do you thing the current video editing apps came from? They were developed, just like the Internet, by 'the government'!!!

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #861 on:** February 10, 2014, 11:07:01 AM »

Note to Admin: This may need to go to the Technical side(?)

Some of us are considering 'down-sizing' or maybe just remodeling our current bathrooms. I discovered a way you can save some money! Consider hiring a Combo-Tradesman! I found a combo plumber/electrician that I'm sure can cut the costs of these two trades. Here are two examples of his recent work:

Don't you hate it when the lights go out right in the middle of a shower?!

I don't know how many times I've forgot to turn on the lights...

Problem solved!

RNKIII · « **Reply #862 on:** February 10, 2014, 04:32:09 PM »

I'm sure that water will get real hot real fast.... If you get that tingly feeling it's probably too late.

Bob K. rnkiii

jchuzi · « **Reply #863 on:** February 10, 2014, 06:35:02 PM »

Rodney Dangerfield used to quip that his childhood bath toys included a radio and a hair dryer. (He also said that, when he played in the sandbox, the cat tried to bury him.)

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #864 on:** February 13, 2014, 03:09:48 PM »

Only the Irish have jokes like these!

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, "Where have ya been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course," Slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.

"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

jchuzi · « **Reply #865 on:** March 02, 2014, 07:29:13 PM »

Here's a little-known fact about Gilbert and Sullivan:

Benjamin Franklin's mother had two sisters who lived together for many years. They trained parrots to talk and then sold them to make their living. Gilbert and Sullivan knew about this and based one of their best operettas on the story, namely The Parrots Of Ben's Aunts.

RNKIII · « **Reply #866 on:** March 02, 2014, 07:41:50 PM »

"The very image of a modern Major General"

Bob K. rnkiii

Texas Mac Man · « **Reply #867 on:** March 04, 2014, 11:34:51 AM »

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replied.

The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

Xairbusdriver · « **Reply #868 on:** March 04, 2014, 05:09:02 PM »

OK, I need you mailing address! I just sprayed coffee all over my iMac!! I am sending you the repair bill!!! Don't you know you are supposed to post a warning not to have a mouth full of coffee when reading stuff like your joke!

So, go get a big cup of coffee (preferably DRM free) and watch this: <Daisy & Cooper Visit McDonalds> They look like two dogs, but one of them is a PIG!

Texas Mac Man · « **Reply #869 on:** March 08, 2014, 01:07:05 PM »

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day.. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around and then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off.. But occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something that she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they decided to just continue watching her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, 'Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?' He hadn't and said so.

Then she said, 'Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing.'

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave... The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.

'Well, is she selling drugs?' she asked excitedly. 'No, she's not,' he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

'Well, what is it then? What does she do?' his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, 'She's a battery salesperson.'

'Batteries?' cried the wife.

'Yes!' he replied.

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'She Sells C Cells down by the Seashore!'

News:

Author Topic: We need some Humor!!! (Read 468106 times)