A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"
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These next 2 groaners come to you courtesy of "Craig", who has a grand sense of humor and inspires Sneakers and I every time we meet him in the clinic.
Do you know why hippies have long hair?
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They don't cut their hair.
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Dr. Brown was a renowned geneticist. He was sure he was close to finding a way to clone humans, but his grant money was running out. Rather than lose all his research, he smuggled some samples home and secretly worked in his basement lab. Needing a subject to clone, he decided to try himself. After all, he was well educated, smart, handsome, polite and loads of fun to be around at parties -- and he'd never tell on himself for doing something illegal.
Dr. Brown's clone test was a huge success, but he needed to test his clone in a work environment. So on Monday he sent the clone off to the hospital lab. The clone returned home and said all had gone well. Dr. Brown decided that he'd go to the lab himself on Tuesday to see the reaction. His co-workers were polite, but a bit distant; but no one seemed to know they'd interacted with a clone the day before.
On Wednesday, Dr. Brown sent his clone back to the lab; and he himself returned on Thursday. Again he found his co-workers polite, but distant. Dr. Brown sent the clone to the lab on Friday, and was eager for the weekend to be over so he himself could back to the office and see the reaction. When Dr. Brown returned to the lab on Monday he found none of his co-workers would speak to him, and all his "patients" had cancelled their appointments with him and moved to other doctors. This was truly strange and Dr. Brown knew he had to get to the bottom of the mystery.
That night at home he asked his clone what was going on, and the clone said he didn't have a $%^(*& idea. Dr. Brown was shocked. When did his clone begin swearing? Dr. Brown never swore, after all it wasn't polite, and simply showed someone's lack of good language skills--and Dr. Brown was proud of both his good manners and exceptional language skills.
The next few days as Dr. Brown interacted with his clone, he found the clone using coarser language each day. Finally Dr. Brown himself returned to the lab and asked one of his co-workers why everyone was distancing themselves from him. The co-worker replied that his vile language was totally offensive and everyone was tired of listening to it, and objected to being called horrible names.
Dr. Brown apologized and said he'd been under a strain du to his grant money ending, and he would refrain from using such terrible language in the future.
When Dr. Brown returned home, he walked upstairs and called out to his clone. His clone met him at the top of the stairs and asked Dr. Brown what the #$%^&*( he wanted. Dr. Brown asked his clone if he'd been using that offensive language at the lab. The clone spewed a string of obscenities at Dr. Brown and said yes, and there wasn't anything Dr. Brown could do about it because he (the clone) enjoyed cussing and seeing everyone's reaction.
Dr. Brown was enraged and as the clone stepped down past him on the stairs, Dr. Brown shoved him with all his might. The clone tumbled and feel down dead at the bottom of the stairs.
Just then Dr. Brown's housekeeper walked in, saw the dead "doctor", saw the live doctor and fled from the house screaming, "The doctor's dead! The doctor's alive!" The police were called and when they arrived they saw both the dead doctor and the live doctor. They asked the live Dr. Brown what happened. Dr. Brown told them that he'd shoved the clone down the stairs. He also said it wasn't a crime because the clone wasn't a real person, there was no record of him anywhere, and after all if you tested, you'd only find Dr. Brown's DNA -- and how could you charge Dr. Brown with killing himself when he was alive and well?
The police were stumped, but they conferred amongst themselves hoping to find something to charge Dr. Brown with, rather than let him go free. Finally the Capt. came up with the answer and arrested Dr. Brown for …
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making the first obscene clone fall.
