We need some Humor!!!

[kimmer]

Nothing here either. I even tried sticking my tongue out as I pressed the Command and option keys -- and nothing happened other than drool down my chin.

[Xairbusdriver]

OK, Boys & Girls. After fighting with Comcast and their ridiculously user-unfriendly Page Creation pages for a couple of hours (actually took about three times as long to get this simple page uploaded as it did to make the whole movie! ), here is a short, highly technical and astounding professional video (strictly limited availability, BTW) showing and telling you, one more time, how to write a never-ending sentence... Rotate your Screen via the Display Pref Panel.

<Rotating Your Monitor Screen (image) Video>
Believe me, you won't believe how long the actual url is...

[Jack W]

ok ok, I got it!

[Xairbusdriver]

QUOTE

ok ok, I got it!

Now, what in the world will you do with it?!

[krissel]

Well, much as it might appear we don't know what we are doing, it seems this is one of those things that only works if your hardware supports it.  Mine obviously doesn't.  

[Xairbusdriver]

I'm sure it's something like different hardware if it doesn't work for you. Probably an older version of fingers or even arms! There aren't any recent updates for those that I know of... I know the software has to be just right! There may be some interactions between the "hardware" and the "CPU" controlling it, also.

I must say that the new QT capabilities are nice and iMovie seems less finicky about opening a "mov" file.

[kimmer]

Ole lived across the Minnesota River from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't like at all. They were yelling across the river at each other all the time. Ole would yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come ofver dere an beat you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by golly!"

This went on for years. Finally, the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses.

Ole's wife, Lena , says, "Now iss yer chance, Ole. Vhy doncha go over dere and  beat up dat Clarence like you said you vud?"

Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I vill do yust dat!"

Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a sign on the bridge and stopped to read it, then turned around and came back home.

Lena asked, "Vhy did you come back?"

Ole said, "Lena, I tink I changed my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. You know, vhen I yell at him from across da river he don't look so big. But dey put a sign on da bridge dat says

"Clarence is 13 ft. 6 In."

[Highmac]

QUOTE(Xairbusdriver @ Mar 12 2011, 11:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OK, Boys & Girls. After fighting with Comcast and their ridiculously user-unfriendly Page Creation pages for a couple of hours (actually took about three times as long to get this simple page uploaded as it did to make the whole movie! ), here is a short, highly technical and astounding professional video (strictly limited availability, BTW) showing and telling you, one more time, how to write a never-ending sentence... Rotate your Screen via the Display Pref Panel.

<Rotating Your Monitor Screen (image) Video>
Believe me, you won't believe how long the actual url is...

OK, I've saved that valuable QT into my movies folder, so if you ever lose it you have an off-site backup

The option is available on my MBP, but I'm unsure about how that computer would appreciate being stood on end

The only situation I've seen a screen used in portrait mode seriously is by newspaper page-designers, where the screen then matches the proportions of the page. There must be plenty more, though.

[Highmac]

The musical trio Fascinating Aida with their take on Cheap flights flights..... very funny. Father Ted fans will recognise the language....

For more info - their website

[RNKIII]

Sign behind the counter of my favorite Greenhouse / Nursery....   (Absolutely, Positively, True)


"I'm so excited about Spring.... I wet my plants!"



Bob K.   rnkiii

[kimmer]

^LOLOL!!!!!!

[kimmer]

Priest's Retirement Dinner

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people'.

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived, said the politician'. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession'.


Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late

[kimmer]

4 Worms Sermon

For those of you who missed church on Sunday, here's a recap.

Four worms and a lesson to be learned.

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the demonstartion the minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol: Dead

The second worm in cigarette smoke: Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup: Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil: Alive.

So the Minister asked, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"

Rachel--sitting in the back--quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke  and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

[That pretty much ended the  service.]

[Texas Mac Man]

Easter is next Sunday & this may have been previously posted. But, possibly, here it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is  DEAD .

The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.  A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.

She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."

The blonde says, "Don't worry."She runs to her car and pulls out a  spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead  Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him. The  Easter Bunny  jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says..

(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

“Hair Spray”

Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."  

Happy Easter!!!

[Xairbusdriver]

Thanks, I never miss a chance for a good...